Mushroom to Sunflower Blog

Have you discovered, as I have, and as many on social media have, our ‘problem’ was NOT that we just needed more time?!

Most of us have been experiencing ‘having more time’ and now see that it has not solved our feeling of being rushed, anxious and like we’re not doing enough. Granted, a big dose of ‘something to worry about and something major to deal with’ has been dumped on us, which has added to our worry, that rushed feeling and that feeling we should be doing something.

Until We Rest Our Minds, Our Bodies Will Not
If you’ve had more time to sleep and have had fewer daily demands and find that you are still very tired, it’s probably because your mind won’t let you rest. It really may be all in your head. You may be experiencing the thoughts, emotions and your personal issues in a way you were too busy to notice before. You are no longer able to push them aside, until ‘later’ when you have more time.

Just Meditate
Have you tried meditation?
Have you tried walks in nature?
Have you downloaded a relaxation app?
How’s that working for you?
These are all great tools. It takes a long time to quiet a mind that has not been quiet for years

Our minds are also wonderful tools. Thinking has served us supremely well. But it is our self-determination based on our altruistic desires (best for self and all) that should, ideally, be running the show, not our minds. When your mind is ‘in charge’ it sets itself on attending to your survival needs, protecting and keeping you safe, but also narrowing possibilities and limiting your experiences.

When Your Mind Can Rest, Your Physical Body Will Be Able to Restore Itself
I have been practicing thought work and calming my mind with many techniques for over 10 years. I see the difference. I am different. I have been able to sleep reasonably well during these global events and all my personal concerns. Note: there will always be events and concerns. When your mind can rest even with events and concerns, your physical body will be able to rest and restore itself.

Once we are ‘fully’ rested, mind and body, we can go about expanding into who we really are, who we are meant to be, above and beyond your survival and protection.

If you find you need help with your thoughts, emotions, personal issues and/or you want to explore possibilities beyond your fear, contact me to set up a consultation.

coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com

Jennifer Washington

Certified Martha Beck Life Coach

What Now Life Coaching

www.whatnowlifecoaching.com

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How to Exorcise That Vague Haunted Feeling

24/10/2020

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It is Halloween this week, so I thought it appropriate to talk about fear. Fear can be a motivator—exciting and adrenaline producing, OR it can paralyze—stunting our growth and forward progress.

Real (authentic) fear has a clear source and motivates clear action. Think: A zombie jumps out from the bushes! You will act to protect yourself. You will freeze (play dead), flee (run!) or fight (attack the zombie.) These are instinctual survival responses. You won’t have to process any thought.

Fake (inauthentic) fear is a blanket anxiety or worry that paralyses instead of mobilizing. Think: The darkness, the haunting music, the general atmosphere of suspense while wading through the halls of a haunted house. (or going to grocery store!) It is not clear how you are to protect yourself, but you know to keep your guard up. The feeling of unease literally haunts you.

Unfortunately, we are currently plagued by this vague, haunted fear feeling. Living in this time of heightened uncertainty, our vague fear is constantly on alert. When our brains are perceiving any kind of threat, they are sending us into some form of fight, flight or paralysis.

So, what’s a fun-seeking, resourceful, but slightly scared human to do?

Exorcising Your Fear
Once it is established that you are not in mortal danger (no real-life zombies are attacking you), you can get on with the business of deconstructing the haunting anxiety of this now regular life.

1) Thoroughly Research Your Fear
What, if anything is threatening you?
On a much more subtle level; what don’t you want to know? Facing up to something in your situation that needs to change in order for you to move forward in your life can be very scary.

2) Feel the Fear
The only thing worse than fear is the damage suffered when you’re afraid to feel it. There is an initial reaction to whatever is scaring you, and then a resistance to feeling scared, which increases anxiety, which further increases resistance, and so on. Denial is hard work. If you can, get quiet, close your eyes. Feel the fear feeling. Locate it in your body. Place your hand there. Breathe air around the feeling. Ask it for information. What is it trying to tell you? What does it want you to do or not do? Thank it for protecting you. Breathe and allow it to pass through. Act on any information given.

3) Reduce the Threat as Best You Can
Do your research. Learn what the actual risks and threats are surrounding you and study ways to reduce them. It is understandable that you want to throw up your hands, quit and/or take no precautions at all, but please, don’t let anxiety prevent you from experiencing a safe, yet full life.

4) Look at Fear as a Message
Fear is the raw material from which courage is manufactured. As you move through life—which is a series of overcoming obstacles and expanding boundaries, you’ll notice that fear is never absent. Fear can be looked at as a message that something needs to change. We can look at it as scary or we can look at it as a mystery or challenge to be solved. Once you've researched as much as you can and have reduced the threat to your life as much as you can, there will come a time when, in order to expand, grow and change for the better, you must make a leap (even a small step is heroic!). Do it.

5) Talk About It
The very act of voicing our fear(s), more often than not, puts them in perspective and they become manageable. At the very least, once we've gotten the fear out of our imagination, we see that it is not as large and scary as we thought. Having a sounding board, someone to reflect back to you what you are believing, can shift your belief and change your situation.

6) The Serenity Prayer
Accept the things you cannot change. Find the courage (help, resources, tools) to change the things you can. And understand the difference. We cannot control the actions or beliefs of another person, as much as we’d like to. You do you and give those who threaten your safety a wide berth.

There’s a school of thought that says anxiety is excitement turned inside out. As you exorcise fear and anxiety that appears as scary, zombie-like shadows in your way, you will become stronger and more resourceful. Quite possibly your life will become extremely exciting

Wherever you are and however it's happening for you,

🎃👻Happy Halloween!👻🎃

Need help, resources and/tools? Someone to talk to? Contact Me!

coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com

Jennifer Washington

Certified Martha Beck Life Coach

What Now Life Coaching

www.whatnowlifecoaching.com

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Sand to Pearls; 3 Transformation Steps

3/10/2020

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“Life is just one damn thing after another.” The internet isn’t clear on whom to credit for this phrase, but it is a sentence to which we can relate.

When life is filled with a myriad of irritants, and maybe you’ve had more time to notice and feel them over these months (?), how does one choose which irritants to focus on? Or to put it another way, which grains of sand should we, with oyster capabilities already inside of us (the power to transform things) turn into pearls?

Area of Least Satisfaction/Most Pain
Maybe you don’t have one major irritant, or hardship going on, but several. A good way to start is to rate how much satisfaction you feel in each area of your life. Rate your level of satisfaction (or happiness)/least painful, on a scale of 1 to 10, in each of these categories:

1=not satisfied/most painful; 10=most satisfied/not painful
Job
Core Relationships
Finances
Physical Health
Emotional/Mental health

Sand to Pearls (Transformation Power Steps)
Once you’ve identified your least satisfying/most painful (lowest number) area, begin applying the transformation steps.

The Sand
Step One: Identify the Irritant
What, exactly is wrong in this area? What is the thing that is irritating you the most? Be honest. Write it all out. Let your inner child be as nasty or as petty as she wants to be.

Step Two: Neutralize the Irritant
What will it take for this area not to be irritating? Again, write out all of your ‘coulds,’ ‘shoulds’ and ‘if onlys.’ You can be as unrealistic as you want here. Brainstorm possibilities.

The Pearl
Step Three: Make a Choice
What are your choices? In every situation we have choices. Even in the midst of a pandemic, social upheaval and political craziness, we still have options and things we can and do control.
Read: Feeling Powerless? What Can You Control in the Midst of the Uncontrollable?

Change the situation or change yourself. Become the problem-solving creator. Choose something you wrote down in Step Two: Neutralize the Irritant. What did you write down that felt like ‘ah hah!’ or made you laugh or gave you a feeling of relief, hope or energy? Pursue that!

Bonus Step: Repeat
Choose the next least satisfying/most painful area and repeat the practice. As you practice this transformation process and produce more pearls, you will begin to view each irritant as a possibility.

The area of least satisfaction/most pain is where the biggest treasure lies. Do Not be afraid of the tough, dark, hard and heavy parts you may be walking through. I have found that my most painful experiences and most difficult relationships have been where I have acquired the most ‘treasure.’ When I have implemented my power to transform, these areas have made me more of who I am and have made my life better.

In the same way sand becomes a pearl, you are becoming, forming and being forged into a thing of beauty.

You are the oyster, a pearl-making laboratory. Your laboratory is run by universal intelligence. You already possess everything to produce pearls.

Need help with the transformation process? That’s what Life Coaches are for! I can help you be a pearl generator.

coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com

Jennifer Washington

Certified Martha Beck Life Coach

What Now Life Coaching

www.whatnowlifecoaching.com

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Feeling Powerless?

16/9/2020

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What Can You Control in the Midst of the Uncontrollable?

How are you doing? Really?

As things around us continue to be uncertain, I feel anxious most of the time. When I need to venture forth outside of my personal bubble, that anxiety increases.

As the media, social and otherwise, would have us believe, we are far from safe and mostly powerless. This has tripped my survival instinct into hyper-drive. Thoughts of the future makes me nervous. I try not to let myself project too far into it.

I know that feeling powerless makes me feel like a victim. So, I ask myself, what can I actually do to help myself?

Things You Can Control

Your Bubble
Your Bubble is where and with whom you feel safe. Safe enough to be yourself, warts and all. You get to decide who you let into Your Bubble. Do the people around you accept you for who you are? Do you feel supported by them? Do you accept and support them?
Is Your Bubble set up for your comfort and enjoyment?
Guess what? You have the power to make Your Bubble however you want. And, you get to change it anytime.

Your Thoughts
We can’t quite determine exactly where thoughts come from and why the ones that ‘drop’ in drop in when they do, but we can control which ones we entertain. If you find yourself in ‘a mood,’ most of the time, it is worth checking in with the thoughts that are keeping you company. Guess what? You have the power to choose the thoughts you want to think. And you can change them anytime.

Your Behaviour
It is very likely that you are experiencing more emotions, more often, during this time of world-wide stress. And, that’s ok. Feeling your emotions, in fact, is healthy and greatly encouraged. It’s not, however, ok to act recklessly on those emotions. Ranting on social media in a fit of emotional stress is not helpful to anyone, mostly yourself. Acting out in anger or any other kind of acting out, again, is not helpful. Guess what? You have the power to choose how you behave, even in the throes of strong emotions, always.

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What You Consume
What media are you consuming? How does it make you feel after spending time with it? Better? Empowered? Hopeful? Inspired? If none of these things are the result, it is time to change the media you consume. Which brings us, of course, to food and beverages. The same thing applies. How do the things you physically consume leave you feeling afterward? Guess what? You have the power to choose what you consume. You can change them anytime.

What You Do with Your Body
Hopefully, you have some idea what works for your body and what doesn’t. What movement, or non-movement makes you feel good? How much rest is enough and how much is too much? What’s pleasurable and what’s harmful? Guess what? You have the power influence how your body feels.

5 Areas of Power You Own
Your Bubble; Arrange your bubble to suit you.
Your Thoughts; Think pleasant, powerful, helpful, healthy thoughts.
Your Actions; Act like someone you’d want to hang around with.
What You Consume; Consume yummy, healthy things for your mind and body.
Your Physical Body; Listen to and move your body

Once you start to look for where and how you have power, even in the midst of a pandemic, social upheaval and political craziness, you will see many options. The world needs us to exercise our personal power in responsible ways, in order to change the world. We are never as powerless as we imagine.

Coming Soon: 4 Transformation Power Steps

If you’re struggling, feeling powerless and over-stressed, I’d be happy to help you.

coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com

Jennifer Washington

Certified Martha Beck Life Coach

What Now Life Coaching

www.whatnowlifecoaching.com

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Things I Say to My Friends About Relationships

15/7/2020

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Conversations with any of my friends inevitably turn to our relationships. With the isolation/lock down, we all have more time with our significant others or more time alone.

Approximately 10 years ago I blew up my marriage. I decided I was done, and I wanted out. My marriage had been based on my illusion of ‘how to do a marriage correctly.” It was a steady build, over years, on a faulty foundation. I eventually came to see that what I wanted wasn’t going to happen and I knew what I had was no longer sustainable. Reality could no longer be denied. Being alone and starting over was terrifying. I was in an emotional melt-down free-fall and I lived literally one minute at a time, putting one foot in front of the other doing everything in a state of anxiety. There was nothing to go back to, all doors were closed. There was only forward into a big, dark, scary unknown.

Yada, yada, yada, long story, some miraculous, ‘didn’t-see-that-coming,’ moments and my marriage is resurrected and recreated in a new configuration. He changed, I changed. We chose each other and began again. I do not regret the blowing up. It was necessary and we’re much better for it.

All this to say, I’ve experienced, at least a taste, of what you’re experiencing.

Failed Relationships
To my friends who are feeling less-than and like failures because they could no longer stay in their relationships, I ask;
Why is a long-term, both-parties-are-miserable, enduring marriage/relationship, deemed ‘successful,’ but a union that runs its course, serves its purpose, or becomes unsustainable and breaks up is viewed as a failure?

It worked until it didn't. What many things did the relationship teach you about yourself? How, honestly, does it feels to be out of that relationship? What DON’T you miss about the relationship? How expanded is your life now? What does your independence/self-reliance feel like when you stand up fully inside of it?
Keep going.
It will get better.
Forgive yourself.

Being Single
To my single friends I say; There is no template! Are you feeling bad because you aren't following the ‘rules’ or expectations of society, your culture, your parents/community? Do you really believe in or want what 'they' say you should want? Stop feeling bad about wanting something else! You are allowed to create the life you want to live simply by following what you like and don’t like. It requires bravery, of course. What’s worse, defying expectations and living your life, or compliance and living an inauthentic life?

“It’s nearly impossible to blaze one’s own path while following in someone else’s footsteps.” Glennon Doyle

Re-Relationshiping
To my friends who have done the huge work to free yourself from a painful or extinct relationship and you’ve built yourself again from the wreckage, I say; Please, please, please do not allow yourself to contract back into a smaller version of yourself in any new relationship. Stay expanded, stay whole. If ‘they’ can’t tolerate your bigness, your hard-won full self, that is their own fear. Don’t allow it space.

Doing for Others
To my friends who are doing what’s best for everyone at the expense of themselves, I say; do what is best for you, always. All ways. Doing What’s Best for You Really is What’s Best for Everyone!

What is better? Lying to please others or pleasing yourself and being disliked? Lying to please someone else is a betrayal of not only yourself but also of others.

“Uncomfortable truth or comfortable lies? Every truth is a kindness, even if it makes others uncomfortable. Every untruth is an unkindness, even if it makes others comfortable.” Elizabeth Gilbert

The Marriage of Content
To my friends who have weathered marital bumps (or catastrophes!) and wonder if you’ve settled, I say; Congratulations. You’ve done some hard work. You are brave and strong. But, rest assured, if there is something you are meant to be doing that you aren’t or if there is something you are to be or become, you will NOT be able to stay comfortable for long! Your contract with yourself will be fulfilled.

If you have peace and contentment in your relationship, be grateful for the absence of drama. Enjoy!

For Everyone:
No matter your current circumstance, there are always choices. What can you do, each day, to make it as beautiful as possible?

Want to talk about YOUR Relationship?

coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com

Jennifer Washington

Certified Martha Beck Life Coach

What Now Life Coaching

www.whatnowlifecoaching.com

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Transitional Catalytic Events

17/6/2020

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My job is to help people make sense of what they are experiencing, to uncover things that are causing discomfort and pain, and to shift thoughts, feelings and behaviours in order to enjoy a better experience.
So, the question I asked myself today is how do I do all that with this? Easy? Not!

We are experiencing Transitional Catalytic Events. Just as we are (almost) adjusting to the first one, we are now in the midst of a second.

The Makes Sense Part

Transitional Catalytic Events
A Transitional Catalytic Event is an occurrence that forces change. It is unforeseen, not our choice and not under our control, catching us unaware and unprepared. We have no choice but to transition from where we are to something else.

Appropriate Responses to a Transitional Catalytic Event If You are Human

Lay Low
Our natural instinct is to self-preserve. Do not feel bad about wanting to stay in and hitting the snooze button. It is important to soothe ourselves and to take necessary and recommended precautions for our own safety as well as for the safety of others.

Grieve
Being forced out of our comfort zones is traumatic. Some of us can roll easier than others, but the fact is the world as it used to be is gone! We will NEVER go back to the way we were. It is completely appropriate to experience grief. This is an important, necessary step in the process of moving to a better experience. Grief, when properly dealt with (Read more here:) lays the foundation for hope to return.

The What is Causing Our Pain Part

There is No Us Vs. Them
I truly believe that the root of all of our problems is fear. As we persist in pitting ourselves against an ‘enemy,’ we will stay stuck in fear. Fear prevents creative solutions.

The Virus is not our ‘enemy.’
“Other” people are not our ‘enemies.’
These are ‘problems’ we have created, therefore they are problems we can solve, together.

We must ask ourselves:

Why Do We Keep Creating Things That Can Kill Us?

Why Do We Perceive Others as Different and Separate?

How Can We Continue to Brutalize and Traumatize and Call Ourselves Civilized?

The How Can We Shift Part

It Is Personal
In order to solve things in the larger world, where we may feel we have no control, we have to start in our personal world, where we do have control.

Do Your Inventory
In what ways are you living/behaving that is harmful to you physically, emotionally, or mentally?

Where are you ‘at odds’ with others?
If you can’t get along, find common ground, have peace in your own family, with your neighbours, with your co-workers, with people who ‘serve’ you, how can there possibly be harmony and peace in the larger world?

It would be lovely to have governments and leaders that set great examples and serve us in a manner we deserve and expect. It would be awesome if they were responsible and behaved admirably. But reality shows us that this currently is not the case.

The reality is, we must take responsibility for our own beliefs and behaviours. When we start acting in ways that are not harmful to ourselves and others, we can expect it/demand it from our leaders.

Email: coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com

Jennifer Washington

Certified Martha Beck Life Coach

What Now Life Coaching

www.whatnowlifecoaching.com

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When You Lie to Fit in

22/4/2020

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When I saw this on Facebook, I laughed. And it’s stayed with me since.

It really, really made me think about how many times in how many situations I have tried to make myself into someone I am not in order to fit in. It makes me sad, because when I did this, I was lying! Lying to myself and everyone else.

And to carry the illustration further, I then thought about wanting things that aren’t mine to have. So, using the funny meme, let us suppose the cat wants the penguin job so he can enjoy the penguin ‘perks.’ But, at what cost? He can never go onto all four paws, he has to squawk and not meow, he has to swim in water(!), well… you get the point.

And, because I have experienced ‘faking’ it and pretending and maybe you have too— maybe you still are? —we all know how exhausting it is! At the end of the day, the cat has to know that that the penguin perks are not worth the soul destruction.

Our External Liveswhat-does-rest-digest-feel-like.html
Which brings me to something I read this week that speaks to our current social isolation/distancing situation; Being prevented from engaging in our external lives makes us either miss it or be happy to be away from it.

This also made me laugh because it just so precisely hit the mark!

Are You Taking the Opportunity?
This has been said, and I’m repeating it because it’s very much hitting home for me; this situation can be the opportunity to make real changes. I am over trying to ‘fit in’ where I don’t belong—acting like someone I’m not. I am also clear on what I am missing and what (and who) I am happy to be away from.

Which is it for you? Are you missing your external life or are you happy to be away from it? What is this situation showing you about how you have been living your life?

Life Coaching is, at its core, helping you become more of who you really are. It is helping you move away from what you don't want and move toward what you do want.

I am available during this time of Social Distancing
coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com
Services/Contact Me

If you are a
Front Line, Essential Service Worker,
or know one,
and you need some support,
Please contact me,
I'm offering my services at a reduced rate.

We all want to know what to expect, how to prepare and when we can resume making plans.
but with this, we just can’t.
We are forced to stay present and, at most, plan a day or two ahead.

If you'd like to think into the future of when this is all over,

I’ve created an audio visualization that takes you to your ‘future-self-after-this-episode’

"After This" Visualization

Jennifer Washington

Certified Martha Beck Life Coach

What Now Life Coaching

www.whatnowlifecoaching.com

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Should You Be Panicking?

19/3/2020

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It is our instinct to self-preserve. Anything that makes us feel threatened puts us into self-preservation mode. When we act from this instinct, we are acting from fear and scarcity. The current world situation is definitely triggering our survival instinct. Example: The hoarding of toilet paper! This is an impulse driven first by fear and then by perceived scarcity.

What we want to do is act from our creative, above the problem, problem-solving part of ourselves. Einstein said:

"No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it."

So how do we go about acting from a place that is not fear or survival based?

Personal Panic (or Worry, Crisis) Dealing Exercise
or
How to Connect with Higher Consciousness Before You Act

Do at least once/day. More as needed.

Step Number One: Limit the amount of time spent watching the news! Seriously! Stop watching obsessively.

Step Number Two: Find a quiet place to be alone for a few moments. (You can even do it on your bathroom break! No excuses!)Breathe in and out 3 - 5 times.Place your hands on your heart area or stomach - wherever you 'feel' your emotions.Tune in. Ask what am I feeling? Observe like you are a teacher in a kindergarten class and each of your emotions are children. See how many you can name. Give each of them acknowledgement. No need to correct, edit or judge them. Smile and nod.

Step Number Three: With your hands still on your heart/stomach, think of something you are grateful for, something or someone that gives you that 'awe, ahh' feeling. Allow that feeling to flow in your body for a couple moments.

Step Number Four: While feeling your sense of gratitude, invite Spirit (God, Universe, Higher Consciousness, etc,) in and ask; "What do I need to know?" "What do I need to do?" And, if you wish, "How can I help?"

You may not receive anything and that is ok, but, you will notice that information you need will come to you. Trust whatever comes up. Thank yourself for taking this moment and doing this exercise.

If you are in danger, your inner warning system will give you a very clear message.

The information that comes up, even if it's not what we want to hear, may have a sense of urgency, but it will always be clear and calm. There will not be a sensation of hyperness, agitation or panic - that is fear from confusion.

Be sure to act on any messages you receive. You are opening or maintaining a dialogue of trust between you and your inner wisdom/higher problem-solving self.

As in all times, it is important to heed 'recommendations' for your safety as well as the safety of others! Stay Safe.

Want More Exercises/Coaching Like This?
Stress Management Coaching is Available.

coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com

Jennifer Washington

Certified Martha Beck Life Coach

What Now Life Coaching

www.whatnowlifecoaching.com

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It's Not Always Big & Flashy

9/1/2020

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A Clear Vision; It's Not Always Big & Flashy

This New Year, I have not had the enthusiasm nor the energy for any New Year Resolutions, Big Goal setting or tackling any New Improvement!

I did do a Vision Casting, and I received some very clear images and feelings about what the coming months have in store for me. The session involved No effort, no strain, no over-the-top rah, rah enthusiasm, but the result is a feeling I can only describe as ‘locked in.’

I coached a client recently who is facing a relocation. She said she had no idea where, in her very large city, to start looking and was feeling overwhelmed. After our ONE-ON-ONE PERSONAL VISION SESSION, she had a very clear picture of not only what her new living space will look like, but also what it will feel like. At the end of the session my client reported she now knows exactly in what areas to begin her real estate search. THAT is Vision Casting for Real Life!

Creating Your Future can be simple, easy and enjoyable.

Having the vision come to you is how it starts.

Happy 2020 Everyone!

Want to Visualize Your 2020?

Book A Session

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REGISTER HERE: 2020 Vision Board

coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com

Jennifer Washington

Certified Martha Beck Life Coach

What Now Life Coaching

www.whatnowlifecoaching.com

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It’s the Most ?Wonderful? Time of the Year

9/12/2019

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Life Coach Tips For Not Just Enduring Family Holiday Celebrations

‘Tis the season of stress. And the stress of being with family is one of the biggest. Many of the expectations are assumed and/or unspoken, as are many traditions. But one disturbing-to-me ‘trend’ over the past several years is a mockery, a distain and even out and out rejection of family gatherings. There is a collection of “Dysfunctional Family” games available. Isn’t this supposed to be a season of love and kindness toward one another?

Life Coach Tips For Not Just Enduring Family Holiday Celebrations:

You Have to? Really?
As much as we believe we 'have to' do things we don't want to do, the reality is, we really don't. You are an adult and get to choose where you go and who to spend time with. NOT attending is always and option. Then, be sure to skip feeling guilty about your decision. If you feel that not showing up at a family gathering has greater consequences than showing up, then decide to show up fully. Are you going in just 'tolerating' the situation or are you going to 'engage' in the situation? If you are showing up to my invitation with an attitude of mere tolerance, then, I would prefer you don't show. No one wants to feel tolerated. If you show up fully and engage, you may be surprised how enjoyable it all is. Just decide.

Awake, Aware and Grateful
Advice I’ve given to my clients over and over again is this; Congratulations, you’ve noticed your discomfort and your family members’ quirks and irritants. This is a sign you are awake and aware. Yay! Now, balance the negative with the positive. What is there to appreciate or be grateful for about this (these) people? Gratitude floods us with chemicals that literally make us feel connected to others and to our larger world.

Stay in Your Lane
After awareness and gratitude, stop doing or planning anything to change or fix people or situations. This is difficult advice for sure if you are a person who takes on the responsibility of making everything ‘nice.’ In order to reduce your stress and save your sanity, you must allow everyone and everything to be exactly as they are. Take care of yourself and allow others to take care of themselves. If you must, you can happily go back into changing/fixing/helping mode once the big celebration is over.

Pre-plan
Now that you’ve congratulated yourself on being aware and you have practiced what acceptance and gratitude feels like, you can do a pre-plan. If your brother/sister/mother (whomever) has consistently been a pain in the you-know since forever, count on them continuing that tradition and plan your reaction. We never can control another’s behaviour or opinion, but we can always choose our reaction. Play out the various scenes you KNOW are going to happen in your head. What are the likely consequences of your various responses? Is this the year you blow everything up? Can you find humour in the situation? Is there some way you can enjoy this time and these people?

Judge Intention vs. Actions
Sit for a while and ponder your intentions going into the family/group, high-pressure, big occasion gathering. What if your intentions are patience, kindness, compassion, curiosity and understanding? How would these affect your actions? What are you assuming about other peoples' intentions? The Stephen Covey quote comes to mind: We judge ourselves for our intentions and others by their actions.

Of course, I am not advocating you tolerate abuse. (See signs and symptoms of toxic relationships: What I Wish I'd Known About Toxic Relationships.)

Our attitudes, intentions and actions all influence any situation we attend, in a positive or negative way. The power is literally in us.

We all lose when we diminish, disdain or eliminate anyone or any group. It is in our coming together that we are strengthened. It is in coming together with love, patience and a willingness to understand that we all win.

If we can’t do it in our own families, how can we do it in our communities? How can we do it globally?

Need Help this Holiday Season?

Jennifer Washington

Certified Martha Beck Life Coach

What Now Life Coaching

www.whatnowlifecoaching.com

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Is It All in Your Head?

The Truth About Your Mind

How to Exorcise That Vague Haunted Feeling

Wherever you are and however it's happening for you,

🎃👻Happy Halloween!👻🎃

Need help, resources and/tools? Someone to talk to? Contact Me!

coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com

Sand to Pearls; 3 Transformation Steps

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Transitional Catalytic Events

Email: coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com

When You Lie to Fit in

If you are a
Front Line, Essential Service Worker,
or know one,
and you need some support,
Please contact me,
I'm offering my services at a reduced rate.

"After This" Visualization

Should You Be Panicking?

Personal Panic (or Worry, Crisis) Dealing Exercise
or
How to Connect with Higher Consciousness Before You Act

Do at least once/day. More as needed.

If you are in danger, your inner warning system will give you a very clear message.

It's Not Always Big & Flashy

A Clear Vision; It's Not Always Big & Flashy

Want to Visualize Your 2020?

Book A Session

Host a Party

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It’s the Most ?Wonderful? Time of the Year

Life Coach Tips For Not Just Enduring Family Holiday Celebrations

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​Wherever you are and however it's happening for you,​🎃👻Happy Halloween!👻🎃​Need help, resources and/tools? Someone to talk to? Contact Me!

If you are a Front Line, Essential Service Worker, or know one, and you need some support, Please contact me, I'm offering my services at a reduced rate.

​"After This" Visualization ​

Personal Panic (or Worry, Crisis) Dealing Exerciseor​How to Connect with Higher Consciousness Before You Act​Do at least once/day. More as needed.

If you are in danger, your inner warning system will give you a very clear message.

A Clear Vision; It's Not Always Big & Flashy

Want to Visualize Your 2020?Book A SessionHost a PartyREGISTER HERE: 2020 Vision Board

Life Coach Tips For Not Just Enduring Family Holiday Celebrations

​Archives

Wherever you are and however it's happening for you,

🎃👻Happy Halloween!👻🎃

Need help, resources and/tools? Someone to talk to? Contact Me!

If you are a
Front Line, Essential Service Worker,
or know one,
and you need some support,
Please contact me,
I'm offering my services at a reduced rate.

"After This" Visualization

Personal Panic (or Worry, Crisis) Dealing Exercise
or
How to Connect with Higher Consciousness Before You Act

Do at least once/day. More as needed.

Want to Visualize Your 2020?

Book A Session

Host a Party

REGISTER HERE: 2020 Vision Board

Archives