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Sharon's Depression Story

28/1/2016

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Depression recovery is a multi-part process. There is the mental component, where you become aware of and hopefully get help with processing your many destructive thought patterns. There is an emotional component where one learns to first identify their emotions and then how to express them in healthy ways. But most commonly, it is the physical component that ultimately brings one to the point of finally dealing with depression. In my experience and with working with others, it is when the very strong, resourceful folks burn themselves out physically that they seek assistance.

*Sharon grew up like most people we know, in a dysfunctional family. In order to escape the family, Sharon learned to be very resourceful. She learned to read any situation for signs of possible abuse and knew how to skedaddle. Sharon worked hard, got a good education, got herself into a great career, married and had children. When her self-doubt and buried emotional pain started to surface in the form of interrupted sleep, recurring illness and difficulty dealing with relationships, Sharon did what she learned early—she read some books to educate herself, worked harder to keep herself ‘in check’ and was prescribed some antidepressants, so that she could continue functioning in the life she thought was expected of her.

25 years later Sharon is sitting in my office, frustrated because she can’t stop crying and she doesn’t know why she’s crying. Things that she handled efficiently for 25 years, she can no longer handle. Everything on the surface looks great. She’s read the books; she understands how life works. She is a success, only she doesn’t sleep more than 4 hours a night, she is overweight, can’t find any time for herself and is plain sick and tired of being sick and tired all of the time.

Because Sharon no longer has the physical energy to stuff down the things causing her depression, she is finally ready to face it. But, the facing of it is not nearly as frightening, difficult or devastating as she imagined. In fact, through coaching, Sharon learns how to rest, maybe for the first time ever. She then is amazed as her story surfaces. She sees that her real fears seem so obvious once she’s stopped running and hiding. Those fears, those shadows, those buried pains are fascinating fonts of valuable information that eventually set Sharon free from the imagined prison Sharon’s been in since her early adulthood.

In Sharon’s case, getting coaching for her exhaustion and depression became an opportunity for self-compassion; to learn some tools to frame experience and a magical shift in perception.

(*Sharon is a composite of many people, including me!)


Depression Your Personal Story Workbook

The Perception Diet
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Moving Toward Change

20/1/2016

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I’m doing an experiment with changing my habits. We’ve all been told how the subconscious doesn’t register ‘negatives’ as in; you say, “don’t eat donuts,” but your subconscious registers ‘eat donuts’ and your mind probably pictures a donut every time you think ‘don’t eat donuts.’ My daughter, Ali coaches all of her clients to go toward what they want first instead of away from what they don’t want. So in my case, I want to have more energy and feel better physically, so instead of overhauling my diet and imposing strenuous exercise on my body—like I would have in the past, I’ve added a greens food supplement to my diet, I’ve added a 2nd session of yoga to my day and I’ve added an evening/nighttime meditation.  I’ve changed nothing else. I’ve kept my same eating habits as well as keeping the exercise routine I had before. In just two weeks I am feeling more energy and my body is responding in positive ways.

Any thought of restriction or sudden change immediately sends our survival brain into scarcity mode and it will actually shut down digestion and change respiration in order to conserve energy for the lack that it’s anticipating. When we are in this state, no amount of ‘good’ food or exercise will be able to affect our bodies positively. It is only from a relaxed, rest and digest state that our body can function optimally. That is why, meditation, is the number one recommendation for changing your health. By adding instead of restricting or punishing, the brain gets the message that there is plenty available and stands down. Relaxation tells our systems that all is safe and gives them a ‘go.’

What if you’re trying to quit a health corrupting habit, like smoking or alcohol? I’ve had the most success with dropping the order to quit. The old “what you resist, persists” adage. I tell myself I can have whatever I want, whenever I want it. It’s always there, so what can I have or do instead that will feel just as good, or better than say, drinking or smoking? Again, moving toward something, instead of away from something. Just bringing awareness to and interrupting the habit is the beginning of changing it for the better.

If you are interested in going deeper into the understanding and changing of your habits, Ali and I are running a six-week tele-course based on her book The Perception Diet, beginning February 15th. Check out all the info HERE

Interestingly, because I’ve added more activities to my day, I’m spending less time watching t.v. which means I’m snacking less. I’m also quite tired at the end of the day, so I’m going to bed earlier and sleeping better. Huh.

​Are you moving toward change? I would love to hear how that is going for you. coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com

 
 
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The Fruit of 2015

11/1/2016

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I spent almost ½ of last year working on my heart’s desire, and that is to reach out to people                                                            who suffer depression and anxiety. 
I spent some time writing out my own experience with depression, highlighting the things and people that helped me along the way. I then spent some time interviewing people who have experienced or are currently experiencing depression and I found that we all had 4 specific traits in common. That caused me to wonder how I could use my life coaching tools to address those 4 specific commonalities. And, that is what led me to write a workbook which does just that—4 coaching tools addressing 4 specific behaviours of people with depression called: Depression; Your Personal Message  Get Your Free Chapter​, when you visit the book page!

Writing the book was surprisingly easy. And I had so much amazing help and support! My two daughters/Master Life Coaches, Alyssa and Samantha, encouraged me like crazy. Sam, my youngest, an illustration master, made the cover and awesome chapter pictures making the book so much prettier. She also did formatting, editing, hand-holding, tantrum-witnessing—so many things! My super talented nephew and author, Gregg, edited the book with expert insights and suggestions, making the book so much more professional! I thank my sweet friends who answered my questions, tried and tested my workbook and gave me the most useful feedback and encouragement. Getting the book online, however, not so easy. I absolutely believe there are ‘spirits’ or ‘gremlins’ in the internet—too many mysterious glitches, pages, elements, etc. appearing and disappearing to count or explain!


Also, at the end of last year, I invested some time and money getting some videos made to promote my Life Coaching business.  I have posted those videos on my website explaining who I am and what I do. See my website page  also a couple about my workbook on this page. Depression; Your Personal Story Workbook. You will notice, if you watch the videos, I appear timid/nervous, because I am! I do not self-promote comfortably! The brilliant people who filmed and produced the videos made me as comfortable as possible—which believe me is a miracle in itself. They did such a good job that I actually did not die of cringing when I watched myself the first time. This process stretched me quite far out of my comfort zone, I put myself through this only because I believe in what I do—I may not be able to articulate what I do exactly the way I want to on camera, but I have had so many great experiences personally and with beautiful, wonderful, amazing clients demonstrating how coaching changes lives that I’m willing to do what I can to get the message out.


All this to say, that I have been through a growing phase. Like all growth it’s been challenging (picture crying, pouting, procrastination, self-doubt x 100) as well as rewarding—I got to spend time with some very precious, awesome people who taught me many things and my skill set and self-confidence have expanded.

As always, I value your time and attention. If I can help in anyway, please, do not hesitate to contact me. And, I would love to hear your thoughts and comments.



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    On my journey back to wholeness I have explored many modalities and can honestly say the What Now Life Coaching session was one of the most illuminating (yet non-invasive) interactions I've had.

    Jennifer used an interesting variety of tools to further guide me towards my "North Star" (soul's calling) and I walked away feeling grounded, comforted, validated and inspired.
    ​
    -Angela, Shaman.

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