Are you struggling right now? Are there things going on in your life that are hard to deal with? Are you feeling like it’s just one damn thing after another? Congratulations you are on an ‘awakening’ journey!
If you’re anything like me, the word awakening gives me visions of a magical, spiritual experience where suddenly truth is before me, the world makes sense and I am now wise. In reality, ‘awakening’ is more of a shit-show! It is unpredictable, messy and hard. Think childbirth! In my coaching, we call it transition—just like in childbirth—the difficult birthing phase between being pregnant (the baby is not out) and being a parent (the baby is out). Transition/awakening is the most intense part.
What is Really Going on When We Are in Pain and Suffering?
So, back to what it is you’re struggling with. The biggest, most painful aspects of life as we know it are when our reality shifts. A big shift in reality shatters our illusions.
Whether we are aware of it or not, we are constantly imagining or forecasting into the future, based on what we think we have right now. Not that that’s a bad thing. It’s just that when anything in our current situation changes, we must understand that part of our shock and pain is that our ‘hoped’ for future(s) crumble or shatter. I remember distinctly this happening to me. I stood in the centre of my living room and witnessed reality make a big intrusion into my illusion. It felt exactly like a window shattering and behind it, I could finally see everything as it truly was, not how I had been imagining it, wishing and working so frickin’ hard for it to be.
When a marriage falls apart, for example, not only do our ideals about what a marriage is ‘supposed to be,’ shatter, but so does our current and future ‘reality.’ A reality we may or may not be aware that we built and were counting on.
What We Are Left With
After an episode of awakening, (good news/bad news; there are many on your awakening path) we must re-orient ourselves. It takes time. Once again, like childbirth, once that baby is real, we are no longer who we used to be, and we can’t go back. We are faced with making adjustments in ourselves and our environment. Once the shock and grief subside, we are left with really, only one thing; the choice of how to go forward. We must ask ourselves, who do we want to be? Our choice in the face of a new reality is to contract, withdraw or even lash out in anger and fear. OR, we can re-imagine by entertaining several new future-scapes based on the new, happening now information and who we choose to be.
Once awakening has been integrated, you will see that here and awake is so much better than where you were before—asleep, playing a role and putting so much energy into an illusion. Now you are more of who you are meant to be with opportunity to live freer and well, more alive. You’ve done it before. You can and will do it again.
Certified Martha Beck Life Coach
What Now Life Coaching