I used to get regular migraines and suffer painful menstruation. A few years ago, I began to tune into the regularity of these pains. Slowly I gave them ‘proper’ attention and ‘allowed’ myself to rest and to ‘baby’ myself a bit during these episodes, instead of just bearing the pain as I powered through my day. Then one day, it occurred to me, what if I rested and ‘babied’ myself without needing pain as an excuse? I call it Intentional Resting. I have fewer migraines now, my periods are not painful and intentional resting has resulted in getting more of things that are necessary done in less time.
And then, (my favorite, most used phrase, because one thing always leads to another!) I began to notice other ‘excuses.’ I noticed that I when I really wanted some alone time just to think or be creative or rest, I’d pick a fight my husband so that I could storm off and be by myself. Again, I asked myself, ‘Self, what if alone time was ‘allowed’(intentional) and a fight wasn’t needed to feel justified?’
Now I take regular ‘away time’ and don’t feel guilty. I used to. Huge, big time! You see, your kids, your husband, your boss, your cat/dog/parakeet always needs you. Your (fill in the blank) will always need you. The first few times you leave them will not be easy. They will grumble and try to make you feel guilty, and you will feel guilty, but you will all delightfully discover that they can manage without you. And miracle of miracles!... everyone, including you, will appreciate you so much more when you return all refreshed and filled up with rest and much needed self-attention.
I’ve just returned from intentional time away. I am so fortunate to have a kind, generous friend with a gorgeous accommodation in a valley of the mountains. I felt like I was soaking up space. Being alone and moving and existing in my own natural rhythm, in beautiful surroundings was deeply refreshing. It was, for me, a final winter rest (hibernation) and a soaking before the big push that spring will be.
Where are your ‘excuses?’ Excuses for pain, suffering, self-sacrifice? What are they trying to tell you that you need?
Try giving yourself what you need without excuses. Let me know what happens.
And my bonus ‘feel good now’ tip for you: “Hector and the Search for Happiness.” Watch it if you haven’t already. For fun.
And then, (my favorite, most used phrase, because one thing always leads to another!) I began to notice other ‘excuses.’ I noticed that I when I really wanted some alone time just to think or be creative or rest, I’d pick a fight my husband so that I could storm off and be by myself. Again, I asked myself, ‘Self, what if alone time was ‘allowed’(intentional) and a fight wasn’t needed to feel justified?’
Now I take regular ‘away time’ and don’t feel guilty. I used to. Huge, big time! You see, your kids, your husband, your boss, your cat/dog/parakeet always needs you. Your (fill in the blank) will always need you. The first few times you leave them will not be easy. They will grumble and try to make you feel guilty, and you will feel guilty, but you will all delightfully discover that they can manage without you. And miracle of miracles!... everyone, including you, will appreciate you so much more when you return all refreshed and filled up with rest and much needed self-attention.
I’ve just returned from intentional time away. I am so fortunate to have a kind, generous friend with a gorgeous accommodation in a valley of the mountains. I felt like I was soaking up space. Being alone and moving and existing in my own natural rhythm, in beautiful surroundings was deeply refreshing. It was, for me, a final winter rest (hibernation) and a soaking before the big push that spring will be.
Where are your ‘excuses?’ Excuses for pain, suffering, self-sacrifice? What are they trying to tell you that you need?
Try giving yourself what you need without excuses. Let me know what happens.
And my bonus ‘feel good now’ tip for you: “Hector and the Search for Happiness.” Watch it if you haven’t already. For fun.
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