Which brought me to the question that I ponder often; what is fun for me?
What’s Fun For You? How to Tune In
Because I am a coach, I spend a lot of time reading other coaches' books, blogs, advice, methods, etc. I also read a lot of biographies about successful people. And I love to spend time with my clients helping them discover what’s great about them. Therefore, I try on other peoples’ methods and suggestions for feeling good, for having fun and for the ‘secrets’ to success. This is helpful and inspiring, but it can also be exhausting.
Look/Listen for Clues
Then, I had this dream. In my dream Keith Urban was driving a motorbike and I was riding along as his passenger. Keith, (I call him by his first name. He’s in my dream, after all!) became distracted and I cautioned him, “just keep your eyes on the road, buddy!” As he returned his attention to driving he ran us through a glass partition, and kept going! He then began going faster and driving rather recklessly on streets where there were children. He stopped at a convenience store and went in to buy soda. (of course.) Then he exited the store and began just walking away. I was left pushing the motorbike (because I don't know how to drive one) and following after him, trying to get his attention. That’s all I remember. After going through the major elements using the analysis tools I have adopted, the gist of the dream’s meaning was that I am being driven by ‘popular and or famous’(represented by Keith Urban) ideals of what is fun or what will move me forward (the motorbike vehicle). I am not in the driver’s seat (literally) when I follow their tools and techniques and may not like the results – as in where I’m going and how I get there. In order to move along MY path I am to discover, adopt, develop and or invent my own tools and techniques – mode of transport - to get there. The fastest easiest way, I tell my ‘peeps’, is to find what’s fun for you! Our deepest selves know what we want and where we want to go. Doing what's fun is the path to finding that out.
Rest: As I allow myself the rest I want/need, I am better able to tune into what it is I really desire. It means that I am not substituting other behaviours/habits like coffee, junk food or TV for what I really need. Sometimes that means going to bed early or napping in the afternoon. Other times it means taking 5 in the restroom during a stressful work situation.
Tuning In: My most effective tool right now is sitting in my meditation space (my office), doing a mind/body connection practice and then allowing a ‘brainstorm’ of ideas around what would be fun right now. As each idea arises I observe how my body responds to the idea. An expansive, light feeling is my body feeling positive about the idea and a tight, heavy feeling is a negative feeling about an idea. I am going for the positive feeling that also has a natural motivating energy behind it – it feels good and I want to do it! I even do this with what do I want to eat right now? What do I want to wear today?
Baby Steps: All this effort may seem tedious, but I have years and years of habitual ‘must be productive and work hard’ and 'do things right,' wiring to overcome and this is how I do it for right now.
Observing the Transformations
It is easy to fall back into old patterns of thoughts and behaviours. By paying attention to the small changes that I am instituting it helps me to stay on track and less likely to fall back. I notice I feel happier, lighter more expansive. I notice creative ideas just pop up. I notice the things around me that I take for granted and I really appreciate them.
Last week, when I thought I ‘should’ be writing a blog, I went for a bike ride (on my own two wheeler!!!) and it was fun. The sun was warm, there was a slight cool breeze. I strapped on my helmet, plugged in my ear buds and listened to a very enjoyable coach recording!
The most obvious transformation arising from this discovering and allowing training is realizing that fun is more a state of mind than an activity. When I am in the feeling state of I can do, have, create whatever I want, then everything becomes fun. Fun is the journey and the destination.