WHAT NOW? LIFE COACHING.
  • What Now? Life Coaching
  • Services/Contact Me
  • Mushroom to Sunflower Blog
  • What Does A Life Coach Do?
  • Finding Your What Now; Creating the Next Years of Your Life
  • Depression; Your Personal Message Workbook
  • Vision Board
  • Female Emotional Neglect Recovery
  • Buy the Program
  • Are You Emotionally Neglected?

My Tongue Biopsy Surgery Continued

29/6/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
My Painful Messy Middle Continued

My Painful Messy Middle Continued....

​

See part one


Pain Wrangling

The first hours were a struggle to catch up to the pain, which went from 0 to +10 within 15 minutes of leaving my tongue biopsy surgery. I was given two pain medication prescriptions. After trying the first one and waiting 4 hours with no change in the pain, I tried the 2nd prescription. An edge came off the pain, taking it to an solid 9. Then I was nauseous. The pain never went below 8. With deep body/mind self-coaching and meditation, I slept. I took more of the prescription. Felt sicker, pain constant at 8. I kept myself distracted with TV and movies. 27 hours post-surgery, I rallied myself to meet with some people – plans made before my surgery. In pain and nauseous, I lay on their porch swing while the conversation went on without me. I determined to take no more of that prescription. I vomited when I got home. I resorted to over-the-counter pain relief that was in my cupboard. The pain went to a 6, with no more nausea.

After three days, the swelling was still pronounced and the pain a constant burning or pinching. Eating was impossible and liquids through a straw pulled on my stitches. Do you realize how many times you swallow, in a minute?!


Expectations, Everyone Has Them

I wrote that email to my surgeon and got a prompt phone call to come in. All is ‘normal.’ There’s no infection and was told that everyone’s pain experience is different and I was not outside of expectations. Well, I guess I better adjust my expectations. Another prescription for another pain killer. What the heck, I thought. Desperation is not a great place from which to make decisions. I took the dosage of that prescription and slept 4 hours in a coma-like state on my couch. Woke up with same tongue pain at 7-8 and feeling nauseous again.


Finally, Advice That Helps

I walked to my local health food store to get the products recommended by my personal coach and everything related to holistic healing – my daughter, Ali. The walk cleared my head and made me wonder why I didn’t do this when she first told me 2 days ago. Shame and self-recrimination ensue. Also present were anger, resentment and helplessness. I’m so used to these feelings. They were like companions on my walk home. I was glad for the company.

Lo and behold the topical product I purchased, instantly numbed the pain sight reducing it to a 3, but not for long. The second product gave pain relief and swelling reduction with no nausea. I functioned in my home for several hours before bed. I slept. The pain still woke me, but I returned to sleep after applying the topical ointment and ingesting the natural pain relief.


Hunger or Pain?

There’s a battle between my hunger and my mouth pain. My hunger rages whenever the pain intensity dips. In order to ingest a small serving of something blended or juiced, I need to take the over-the-counter pain-relief to endure the pain that occurs afterward. Moving – yoga, walking light house work – feels therapeutic. One moment at a time. Attentively attending to my mind running ahead with the story of a pain-filled, food enjoyment free future or the ever-popular anger, frustration, poor me and coulda-shoulda-woulda thoughts, keeps me busy when I sit.


Hope and Gratitude

I have pain-free moments on Day 4! I even make myself some soup and consume a whole cup before the pain resumes and makes it not worth it. This gives me hope and enables me to clearly visualize my tongue returning to normal size and function.

I am grateful I can sleep almost through the night. I am grateful for so much kindness and generous, loving support from my friends and family. I am grateful there are resources available to relieve my pain. I am grateful for the level of mental fitness that I have developed that this experience has called upon. I am grateful my body knows what to do and I’m learning to understand its communication. Writing helps me process my experience immensely. Thank you for listening.
0 Comments

My Painful Messy Middle

24/6/2017

1 Comment

 
Picture
My Painful Messy Middle
I’m a story teller and I like to deliver my experiences as already figured out with a lovely understanding or lesson I’ve learned at the end of it.

The Struggle to Share The Messy Middle

In the mastermind coaching group I’m in, we all struggle with talking about and sharing our messy in-the-middle-of-it experiences. We all think other peoples' stories are worse, or somehow, more valid than our own, so we don't share ours. We also realize how powerful, not to mention helpful, it is to do just that; share the messy middle of any struggle. I have begun practicing this in the group and with my closest friends. And now I’m going to share my current messy story with you.

My Current Story

I developed a fibroid on the very tip of my tongue. A dentist and physician consult resulted in a referral to an oral surgeon. Up until that point, my fibroid was just a nuisance that I grew accustomed to—occasionally suffering when I accidentally bit it—which of course, caused it to develop even more. The referral caused my mind to go off into worst-case scenario land. The oral surgeon quickly put my mind at ease, saying that it looked completely benign, but needed to be removed, because it wasn’t going to resolve itself. And, that once it was removed it was standard procedure to send it off for biopsy.

Yesterday was surgery day in an efficient in-patient clinic. I chose a sedation procedure. I laid on the table. I felt the i.v. go in my hand, the oxygen inserted in my nose, closed my eyes and it was instantly 20 minutes later where I was sitting upright and talking to the attendant monitoring my blood pressure. My husband/driver and I listened to the post-op instructions and in less than one hour after the procedure, we were on the way to get pain med prescriptions filled.

Only, before I could get my first pain pill ingested, the freezing on my tongue wore off and the pain of the surgery completely overwhelmed me. I spent the next 15 hours trying to get to some state of tolerance, without toxifying myself with pain meds.

The Ledge of Panic and Despair

The intense pain triggered the flight/fight response in me big time. For a couple of hours, I literally tried to flee my body. My mind went deep into terrible scenarios. I couldn’t comfort myself with food— couldn’t get anything past my swollen tongue— water was even painful and difficult—couldn’t vent by talking to anyone—I wrote notes to my very helpful, attentive, worried husband—I couldn’t distract myself with reading a book or watching t.v.—and I certainly couldn’t have a glass of wine to take the edge off. I finally resorted to practicing my coaching tools! All the ones I recommend to everyone else. I practiced them like a mother-*%$@. And for hours. 
The tools work. I got myself off the ledge of panic and hopelessness The pain meds eventually caught up.


I'm quite dehydrated, I'll work on that today. I'm also, hungry, not sure how that's going to go.  I’ll be keeping on top of my pain killers for the next few days, as well as observe myself. I’m not at the 24-hour post-surgery mark yet and I have awhile to wait before the biopsy returns. I also have some ‘feedback’ to give to my surgeon! I certainly have deeper compassion for people in any kind of pain.

Here I am attempting to wrap it all up with a good lesson. But, how about, instead, I leave it at; can you relate? Does this apply to any part of your life? What about your messy middle, do you share it?
 
1 Comment

Discover Your True Self

22/6/2017

1 Comment

 
Picture
Photo: Laureen King www.artandthekitchen.com
1 Comment

Change it or Choose it. Stop Complaining.

15/6/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Stop Complaining
Change it or Choose it. Stop Complaining

Mo buys two tickets to the symphony for herself and her husband, Joe. Joe sits miserably throughout the concert, ruining the experience for Mo. Mo complains about Joe’s behaviour for the next 6 months.


Why Do We Complain?

  1. Complaining about something gives immediate release from feelings of frustration, helplessness and fear that we encounter when things don’t go our way, or more precisely, when things don’t go the way we think they should.
  2. We complain because there are many things that we seemingly have no control over.
  3. We complain because it is socially acceptable; using complaining as a bridge for relating to others and having them relate to you.
It feels good in the moment, but when not followed up with action, complaining just keeps us helpless and stuck.


What About Things We Can’t Control?

Like, politics, the weather and commitments. Of course, there are many avenues available to become involved in community, national and global affairs, but if you are not lit up wanting to become an activist, then a first step can be to choose where you place your attention and energy. If your blood pressure is going up while watching the news, you can choose to turn it off and focus on something you can do in your immediate environment. Buy some cool rubber boots for those rain days; a cozy blanket or sweater for snow days; think of a reason to enjoy the current weather conditions. I do my best running in the rain. There are many creative ways to make your commitments feel like a choice. (see Bag It, Barter It, Better It)


Choosing is Always More Satisfying/Empowering Than Complaining

There are many options for Mo and Joe. Mo could have asked if Joe wanted to go with her before she bought the tickets. In this case, Mo would have to change her assumed expectation of her husband and ‘allow’ that he has a choice. In this she also has a choice. Her enjoyment of the concert does not have to hinge upon Joe enjoying it too. She can choose to go by herself, ask a friend or enjoy herself even though Joe is miserable.

Joe too has many choices. Joe could have said he didn’t want to go. Here his choice is to accept his wife being upset with him, but he’s off the hook for attending the concert. Or he can choose to go and show up fully, be present, participate fully not acting passively-aggressively while seeming to go along.


Use Complaining as a Clue

When you notice yourself complaining about your job, your boss, your spouse, etc. get curious. What exactly are you frustrated/unhappy about. What is making you feel helpless? Where can you take some of your power back? What complaints can become choices? Also notice when someone is complaining to you. Ask them these questions.


Change it or Choose It

The antidote to complaining is choosing. If you don’t want to do anything to change things, then accept that you’ve chosen the circumstance and stop complaining. If you do choose the current situation, show up. Be present. Find ways to enjoy yourself.
 

 
 
 
Picture
0 Comments

Self-Help Overload?

1/6/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Self-Help Burnout?

Advice columns, self-help formulas and a list of ‘hacks’ for a happier life can sometimes feel, if not overwhelming, then, defeating. Sometimes too
much information can trigger the opposite of inspiration and motivation. The offerings can seem to suggest that there is always something you can improve or that there is something wrong with you. I have to lump myself in with the advisors and self-help givers, because I serve this stuff up as well as study it. I apologize if I’ve ever made you feel ‘less-than.’ So, I present: Advice…erm ….Suggestions for:

How to Take Advice

1.  Consider the Source’s Motivation
What does this ‘expert’ stand to gain? What is their motivation for offering you advice? If you feel any sort of ‘ick’ factor, you know that the advice is not coming from a place of having your genuine best interest at heart.

 2.  See Every Piece of Advice as an Option
Just because some ‘expert’ in a field presents a compelling case does NOT mean that you must take the advice. You always have the option.

 3.  Timing is Everything
Sometimes the advice is just not for you at this time. We are all in different places on our journey and it is completely ok to be exactly where you are right now. You are always growing, even if you can't see it. The advice that is showing up for you may be helpful at a later point in your journey.

 4.  Use Your Imagination
Before you invest energy or time in something, imagine yourself taking the advice or performing the self-improvement exercise. How does it feel? Does it feel exciting? Soothing? Pleasurable? Comforting? Relaxing? Open? Or does it make you feel tight? Compressed? Shut down? This is all important information. Our logic and reason are not always the best methods of deciding things.

 5.  Develop Your Own Inner Guru
Trust yourself; your knowing, your past experiences, your body signals. Just because something got Oprah, or your favorite yoga instructor all jazzed up, does not necessarily mean you should get jazzed up too. Be  happy for them, bless them and go on your way.

Everyone is here to have their own unique experience and only you can decide what that is.
 
As a coach, I encourage my clients to try different advice or self-help exercises, in the hopes of sparking some inspiration or movement into new possibilities. ‘Should’ and ‘have to’ are not helpful when offering suggestions (See “Fighting the Evil Shoulds”). Homework is always optional.

Ultimately life is about growth and expansion and advice is a way to encounter someone elses' experience and consider it for yourself.

How does that feel?
 

 
 
 

0 Comments

    On my journey back to wholeness I have explored many modalities and can honestly say the What Now Life Coaching session was one of the most illuminating (yet non-invasive) interactions I've had.

    Jennifer used an interesting variety of tools to further guide me towards my "North Star" (soul's calling) and I walked away feeling grounded, comforted, validated and inspired.
    ​
    -Angela, Shaman.

    RSS Feed

    Picture
    Picture
    Are You Emotionally Suppressed?
    Picture
    Where's Your Wild Child? Awakening a Sleeping Dream Part Two
    Picture
    Understanding Human Emotions Part One
    Picture
    Free Worksheet!
    Picture






    ​Archives

    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    November 2012
    September 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    December 2010

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from quinn.anya, Lemsipmatt, Feist, Michael - FunnyFence - catchthefuture, Jannie-Jan, alex.shultz, DJ-Dwayne [Away till 31st November], volantwish, Viajar24h.com, JUSU, nafmo, Cloned Milkmen, litratcher, frankieleon, amishsteve, shootthedoll, William Arthur Fine Stationery, kodomut, Carodean Road Designs, torbakhopper, jessicahtam, limevelyn, Kurdishstruggle, peterworsley, tara marie, Daniel Hathaway, Calgary Reviews, KLGreenNYC, Cecily Michelle, RaubDaub, cogdogblog, Jade♥, Maria Grazia Montagnari, CinCool, x1klima, bambe1964, David Sifry, @lattefarsan, miamism, Daniel E Lee, Jellaluna, emjahn, dracychan, Denis Dervisevic, Street matt, Paxson Woelber, Glyn Lowe Photoworks., _Fidelio_, Ann Frye, Prayitno / Thank you for (10 millions +) views, markyharky, Avenue G, glasseyes view, Infomastern, craigCloutier, frank-hl, andertoons, eioua, torbakhopper, Silly Eagle Books, dronepicr, mikie t, Sustainable sanitation, Eduardo Mueses, Chrysaora, D.o.M.e.N.i.C.o (memmo77), elidr, blondinrikard, Ben+Sam, striatic, __MaRiNa__, edenpictures, fruity monkey, Thomas Rousing, R'lyeh Imaging, FaceMePLS, casey.marshall, quinn.anya, Jim Trottier, Holger Zscheyge, Athena I. SaldaƱa