There was an illustrated commercial that used to run on t.v. when I was a kid, of a woman walking outside. The story seemed to me that the elements, the weather, made some sort of bet with the winner being the one that could make the woman remove the coat she was wearing. At first the wind whipped around which just caused her to tighten the coats’ belt around her. Then the rain had a turn, which caused her to flip up the coats’ hood to cover her head. Snow followed causing the woman to huddle deeper into her coat. Finally, the sun appeared and eventually its’ continuous beam caused the woman to remove her coat.
We All Have Protective Covering
We’ve all learned to protect ourselves, especially emotionally. We all carry around our carefully constructed outward appearances so that others cannot see our wounds and therefore exploit them. If anyone or anything comes near and happens to trigger a painful feeling-an emotion we’re protecting, we react by contracting; we back away, we shrink, becoming smaller and we wrap our protective defences more tightly around us.
You’ve more than likely noticed that harshness, rigidity, criticism, etc. are not effective when positive change or growth is the goal. Educators and therapists have this figured out. We now understand that encouragement and positive focus work much better to help people blossom.
Apply This
This also applies to our inner voices. How often can you catch your critical thoughts? When I notice myself wanting to contract; to stay inside, to hide and remain small I often discover my inner dialogue at work. When I am seeing my cup half full or overflowing(!) and my thoughts are motivational instead of critical, I want to share who I am and what I know. I get curious about life and about others.
It applies to relationships as well. How do you instinctually behave with the people you hang out with? Are you open, generous, curious? Are you defensive, quiet, watchful? How do people respond to you? Do they feel seen, heard, accepted for who they are?
Fully You
You under your protective cover, is a diminished you, not fully you. You in the warmth of understanding and encouragement helps you to get to what you’re covering. Understanding it and healing it will lead you to not needing a protection, which leads you to fully expressing yourself in all situations.
I cannot remember what the ad with the lady and the weather was selling but I somehow understood, even at a young age, that warmth, kindness and understanding was the path to fullness and happiness.
We All Have Protective Covering
We’ve all learned to protect ourselves, especially emotionally. We all carry around our carefully constructed outward appearances so that others cannot see our wounds and therefore exploit them. If anyone or anything comes near and happens to trigger a painful feeling-an emotion we’re protecting, we react by contracting; we back away, we shrink, becoming smaller and we wrap our protective defences more tightly around us.
You’ve more than likely noticed that harshness, rigidity, criticism, etc. are not effective when positive change or growth is the goal. Educators and therapists have this figured out. We now understand that encouragement and positive focus work much better to help people blossom.
Apply This
This also applies to our inner voices. How often can you catch your critical thoughts? When I notice myself wanting to contract; to stay inside, to hide and remain small I often discover my inner dialogue at work. When I am seeing my cup half full or overflowing(!) and my thoughts are motivational instead of critical, I want to share who I am and what I know. I get curious about life and about others.
It applies to relationships as well. How do you instinctually behave with the people you hang out with? Are you open, generous, curious? Are you defensive, quiet, watchful? How do people respond to you? Do they feel seen, heard, accepted for who they are?
Fully You
You under your protective cover, is a diminished you, not fully you. You in the warmth of understanding and encouragement helps you to get to what you’re covering. Understanding it and healing it will lead you to not needing a protection, which leads you to fully expressing yourself in all situations.
I cannot remember what the ad with the lady and the weather was selling but I somehow understood, even at a young age, that warmth, kindness and understanding was the path to fullness and happiness.
Jennifer Washington Certified Martha Beck Life Coach
What Now Life Coaching
www.whatnowlifecoaching.com
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