The Ultimate Feeling State
What about when I say ‘self-love?’ Can you feel that? That pause? The shift of something in your body? Maybe even your mind goes blank. You see, we are so inundated with messages that we are not complete, that there is something more for us to be or get and then we’ll feel that ultimate feeling that we’re longing for. What, exactly is that feeling we’re constantly shopping for, working so hard for, longing for? The ultimate feeling state we’re all looking for and believe we don’t already have is love. Specifically, self-love.
If we still believe that anything outside of ourselves is necessary in order for us to feel worthy, valuable and loved, then we are not in self-love. I confess, my pursuit of this feeling-state for lo these many, many years has been way, way off. Arriving at self-love has been a long, hard detour of constant, striving and self-improvement. I don’t fully get it, yet. I am not in a state of perpetual self-love. I have moments. And, I practice. A lot. De-programming takes effort.
Love Expands, Fear Contracts
Self-love practice involves the whole self. It involves the body, the mind and the spirit. An environment—physical, mental and emotional states—of love facilitates growth, renewal, creativity—all manner of life-expanding reactions. An environment of fear (read: constant stress and striving) shuts all that down and over time cause self-destruction. Dr. Bruce Lipton, states that every cell in our body is influenced by its environment and the ultimate environment is our feeling state. If our feeling state is one of love, we expand and evolve, if our feeling state is fear, we contract and eventually devolve.
Self-love begins with being with ourselves. All the parts we believe are our short-comings, our faults, our flaws. The parts that we hide, that we’re ashamed of and especially the parts that are hurt. This is not an easy practice. And it is a practice. In order to get to self-love, we have to go through the valley of shadows, otherwise, they, the shadows, continue to run the program that is currently us and that’s the fear program. We don’t get rid of fear, we bring light to it. Like Rumi says, we invite all the aspects of ourselves to our inner heart table and we don’t just allow them, we welcome them. And just like the Compassionate Witnessing steps we sit with them, we listen to them and we give them our compassion. Until they don’t hurt anymore. Until they are done talking and want to play. I can tell you from experience, this happens, but it takes practice. Much practice.