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Strengths & Weaknesses; Your Friends

23/9/2014

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Weaknesses are what make you weak.  Strengths are what make you strong.  Danielle LaPorte

One of the most freeing ideas that was ever delivered to me was this one.  I spent a lot of my adult years trying to overcome my many, many weaknesses.  That was a lot of spent energy that could have been directed toward creating amazing things using my strengths.

Our culture, society and certainly advertisers place much emphasis on our weakness because they are our vulnerabilities.  We will certainly buy a product if it could possibly, maybe, make us feel better about something they are making us feel bad about. Weaknesses are not to be confused with obstacles.  Obstacles truly do make us stronger and prepare us for living in an expanded place.  Weaknesses have a purpose and it is not to make us feel bad about ourselves.

I have a client who works in the finance department of a large oil company.  When she came to me for coaching, between contract jobs, she was wondering if she should be entertaining other possible career options. 

“Well,” I began, “so numbers, calculations, spread sheets; these things light you up?”

“NO!” she adamantly exclaimed.  “I struggle with the framework incessantly.  With each new contract it’s like I have to learn everything from the bottom up each and every time.  I forget everything and I can’t even apply what I
did before in the same job but in this new place.”

Having trouble remembering certain types of information is actually a very big clue and all my Life Coach bells began ringing.

“You mean to say, that you have had this career for 25 plus years and you still struggle with its application?”  I was trying not to sound incredulous.

“Yes, it is one of my weaknesses,” she explained.

This is excellent information to have.  If you are struggling to nail down exactly what your strengths are, knowing what your weaknesses are, is certainly a great starting point.

My client had spent the better part of her adult life working to overcoming her weakness. She was understandably very tired.

What really lights her up is interior decorating.  She loves to paint rooms and co-ordinate upholstery and drapery fabrics with pillows. She said she could even see herself working in a chain box store and loving it, if she could work in the area of interior decorations.  That’s how you know it is one of your strengths.  The idea of doing it gives you energy and optimism and even physical strength.

She is currently working another contract job in the finance department, but is taking interior design classes in her spare time.

Sometimes hitting on what really lights you up can take a bit longer and require more of a search, especially if you’ve been forcing yourself for many years to do things that you don’t love. 

You can apply this weak/strong awareness to other areas of your life as well.  Think relationships.  Are there people around you who bring out the best in you?  What about those who drain your energy?  Even food.  Once you start to pay attention, you will notice that some foods definitely make you feel great and others that make you feel like, well, you know, not good.

Take some time to tune into your physical state during various activities.  You are designed a certain way and the things that make you weak and the things that make you strong are clues to help you figure what really is best for you.


I'd love to hear about your discoveries!



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My Vacation Adventure

9/9/2014

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I always enjoyed the first back-to-school writing assignment, which was some version of What I Did On My Summer Vacation.  I won’t regale you here, with all of my summers’ activities, but I will tell you of one adventure.

While at a mountain resort, I determined that I wanted to go on a particular hike that was mapped out on our resort literature.  With my husband, our picnic lunch, some water and the folded up the trail map, we set forth.  The directions posted at the entrance to the trail were a bit confusing because it also indicated the golf courses’ directions.  We stood at the entrance debating which arrow we were to follow.  Finally, my husband, who is a much better navigator than I will ever be, picked the path we would take.  I was not fully convinced this was the path, but again, I trusted my husbands’ instinct.  We were in the forest, on a trail that paralleled a gorgeous river and circled a mountain.  It was beautiful. 


About 30 minutes into the trek, that I estimated should take about an hour to the designated picnic site and then another hour after that back to the start of the trail, we encountered some logging men.  They assured us that we would find our picnic site, as everything ‘circled around’ in their words.  We continued along, conversing and observing and generally enjoyed the quiet.

We eventually came upon a sign indicating the picnic site we were looking for was ‘that way,’ so we happily continued along.  As we rounded each successive bend, we became increasingly dismayed at not finding the anticipated site.  As we kept walking we both knew we were not where we thought we were and alarmingly, we didn’t know where we actually were.  After 2 hours our trail emerged onto a major road.  As we flipped and turned and scoured our trail map once again, trying to determine where in the heck we were, a small truck driven by an elderly man accompanied by his wife thankfully pulled over to inquire if we needed help.  Yes! I practically yelled.  We were indeed a long way from where we wanted to be and they kindly offered us the tailgate on their truck to transport us back 15 Kilometers! to our resort.

I love to look at these kinds of things as metaphors and mine them for meaning, direction or purpose.  What I came away with from this little adventure is as follows:

1)  Consult Your Own Inner Compass:  I did not check in fully with my own GPS (my ‘knowing’) at the very beginning.  I was not convinced we picked the right trail.  I assumed that my partner knew better than I did, so I deferred my trust onto him, instead of further checking things out for myself. (No blame-I chose!)

2)  No One Knows Your Path:  People along the way will tell you what you want to hear, or about their own path; we did not inquire fully when we met the loggers, we spoke in vague terms and their answers were what we wanted to hear.  Instead of showing them our map and asking them if they could tell us where we were, we kept going.

3)  Beware of Signs & Wonders:  If you’re on the wrong path, even the signs are wrong.  Because we thought we were on the right path, we assumed the signs along the way were pointing us in the right direction. They weren’t.  They were for that trail, not the one we had on our map-the one we thought we were on.  Again we interpreted the signs to mean what we wanted them to mean.

4)  It’s Never Too Late To Start Again:  As soon as we suspected something wasn’t right, we could have turned around.  At any point in life, one can turn around and start over!  And, if you are willing to persevere, eventually you will find your way.

 Like life, we had the choice to a) start over, using the information to not repeat the same trail, b) get proper guidance from someone who actually walked the trail or c) stay where we were.  All of the choices are valid.  I could go further; even the wrong path can be enjoyable and beautiful; Is there really a wrong path? Feel free to submit yours! In this case, we were hot and tired and feeling quite defeated (and embarrassed!), so we ate our picnic lunch and had a nap. 

If you enjoyed this, please share, comment or pass it on! Thanks!



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    On my journey back to wholeness I have explored many modalities and can honestly say the What Now Life Coaching session was one of the most illuminating (yet non-invasive) interactions I've had.

    Jennifer used an interesting variety of tools to further guide me towards my "North Star" (soul's calling) and I walked away feeling grounded, comforted, validated and inspired.
    ​
    -Angela, Shaman.

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