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The Not Enough Program

28/9/2017

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We are Programmed
 
We have been programmed, trained, if you will, to believe the thoughts inside of us that tell us we’re not enough. This has happened since the dawn of time to serve many purposes. The most prevalent, current purpose is to sell products and services. If we continue to believe we’re not enough, we will buy more, keeping our capitalist society going as it is.
 
If you’re human you struggle with some aspect of yourself not being good enough. If you’re a woman, much of these thoughts will be around your body. Dismorphophobia – perceiving all or a part of your body as repulsive or in need of fixing, is a symptom of how programmed we are. I don’t know any woman who doesn’t believe some part of her body and or her life needs ‘fixing.’
 
The Programming Can be Changed
 
If our thoughts have been programmed to believe painful ideas, they can be re-programmed and trained to believe otherwise. It comes down to accepting some facts:  
 
  1.  We Choose Our Thoughts
 
This can be a hard truth to accept, but it is essential. Yes, much of what we believe and the actions we carry out are based on a whole system that was handed to us before we had understanding and critical thinking skills. Much of thought work/internal shifting is dismantling the package of programming from our childhoods. Once we experience a breakthrough or two in our thinking, the idea of choosing our thoughts is much easier to work with.
 
2)  Our Thoughts Create our Reality
 
If we don’t like our current reality, we mistakenly believe changing our circumstances, partners, jobs, place of residences, our bodies, friends, etc. will create a new reality. But that is only rearranging the furniture. Your circumstances may change, but your beliefs are the same. Instead of waiting for something outside of ourselves to change­–a partner, a raise/promotion, recognition and even love­–we must begin the change internally. We must begin to be the validation, encouragement and love for ourselves. A new reality is created based on a changed inner belief about oneself.
 
How do We Re-Program?
 
“The mind can never be controlled, it can only be questioned, loved and met with understanding.” Byron Katie
 
Simply telling yourself to think something else is not going to work. Our thoughts are not enemies and they do not need to be fought. Our thoughts are our friends and we choose them! They are doing the job that we give them. The painful ones, in essence, are protecting our scared, tender and often times traumatized selves.
Meeting our painful thoughts with love and understanding and then questioning them allows us to get at the truth that is often upside down and backwards underneath them.
 
The way to tell if any thought is trying to get your attention in order to help you is if it feels bad. It’s as simple as that. In The Work of Byron Katie, we are taught to feel how a thought feels when we think it. Every thought has a corresponding bodily reaction. A thought will either feel bad, good or neutral. If it feels bad, there is information there. You are believing something that does not align with what is true.
 
 
It Takes More Than Once
 
I’ve been doing this ‘work’­–examining my programming and implementing inside adjustments–for quite some time. In the beginning, I assumed doing the tool or exercise one time should fix my inner programming. I did not know that in order to change the deeply ingrained training would take daily, sometimes constant exercise. I still encounter ‘not enough’ thoughts. The thing is, they don’t derail me for as long as they used to. I recognize them, we converse briefly and then I’m back on my true track.
 
The practice of changing our thoughts in order to change our reality is not new. There are millions of dollars being spent in this field. But spending the money, owning the books, programs and tools are ineffective if we don’t use them. Practice them until they are the new normal.
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Going Under to Get Over

20/9/2017

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What They Say; What I say

Casey

Casey is a Senior Partner in a successful, very busy accounting firm. She not only has her own portfolio of clients, she is also supervisor over several junior partners and company staff. She’s been steadily moving up the company structure for 15 years. In that time Casey has married and given birth and is raising 2 children. She is president of her kids’ school PTA and volunteers for various community projects throughout the year.
 
When Casey comes to see me, she is on medication for high blood pressure and taking prescription anti-depressants, she wants me to, in her words, “Help figure out what’s wrong with me? My life is perfect, but I’m too tired and sad to enjoy it. What am I doing wrong?”
 
What I Want to Say;
Casey, you are rightfully exhausted.
In order to accomplish all you’ve listed, requires high blood pressure meds and anti-depressants.
These are the symptoms of your buried beliefs about your value. Are you ready to find out what they are?
 
Monica
Monica, a retired, empty-nester comes to me because she feels rudder-less. Her time is now her own after years of attending to the schedules her kids and her job dictated. She truly believed she would be happy to relax and sit around enjoying peace and quiet. Instead, she can’t sit still and is constantly driven to just ‘do’ something. In fact, sitting still and relaxing causes her anxiety because of her racing thoughts.
 
What I Want to Say;
Monica, this anxiety and these racing thoughts have been there all along, you just never noticed because you’ve been so busy and it felt ‘normal.’ The reason you kept yourself so busy was so you wouldn’t have to face them. Guess what? They are messengers trying to get your attention. Now is the perfect time to investigate them. Are you ready?
 
Instead, I ask questions. I introduce ideas. I present techniques and tools and I encourage steady practice of the tools. Sure, a good amount of ‘just tell me what to do’ occurs and sometimes Casey and Monica quit. They go in search of someone or something that will give them a “Change Your Life in Five Easy Steps” list. Eventually they return, resume practicing and bit by bit Casey and Monica discover what is lying beneath the surface of their ‘problems,’ and slowly implement lasting changes.
 
When the Shift Happens
True personal growth does not come from outside, it comes from within. It comes from first self-awareness­–going in and under and then self-direction–going over. The ‘ah-hah,’ the ‘eureka,’ the ‘lightbulb’ moments are where the shift happens. When the shift happens, then true change and growth can and does occur. It also lasts.



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Perks for Subscribers

14/9/2017

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Perks for Subscribers
 
I know from experience, that when things get busy, like now, most women put their needs last on lists and put themselves last on scheduling body, mind and spirit care. I'm encouraging my people to put themselves on the list! My subscribers are currently enjoying my “Put Yourself on the List”
 discounted coaching. 

When you ‘subscribe’ to my email list you will get periodic perks and specials like this as well as always getting my news and writings first. Go to any of my pages www.whatnowlifecoaching.com and fill in the drop down “Join Our List” box or the “Subscribe” box on the right-hand sidebar and you too can be included in September’s special “Put Yourself on the List” promo.
 
Go ahead! Put YOURSELF on the List!
 
Offer Ends September 30th, 2017
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What Does Rest & Digest Feel Like?

6/9/2017

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Imagine This
 
God, Universe, your best angel, whomever you feel comfortable believing in, arrives to tell you, “Between you and all your hard work and worry and Me, well, me being me, Kid, I gotta tell you, we are doing a bang-up job! For the next 24 hours everything, I mean everything, is covered! Your kids, your job, your money, your future, the neighbours, the in-laws, all the world leaders (even the crazy ones!), anything you have a worry about, it’s ALL covered! So, what do you wanna do with this day?”
 
Can you imagine, I mean it, really imagine that for even a few moments? Go ahead. I’ll wait.
 
Do you feel a big deep relief/release? Do feel excited at the possibilities? What are they? What do you FEEL when you imagine nothing to work for and worry about for a whole day? (are you secretly wondering who’s in ‘charge’ if you’re off duty??)
 
Allowing Everything to be OK Without YOU
 
Allowing everything to be ok without YOU is what rest and digest feels like. Rest and digest being the activation of our parasympathetic nervous system, whose job it is to do the mind, body and spirit repair and recovery work. Rest and digest is the opposite of fight and flight (read: strive, work and worry) that we have accepted as ‘normal.’ (How IS that working for you and ‘us,’ anyway?)
 
If you cannot, even for a few minutes each day experience this state, I’m sorry to be so blunt, but, you are already in trouble. Raise your hand if you know from adrenal burnout, insomnia, extra pounds, constant illness, high blood pressure, depression/anxiety, persistent anything. If you’re not currently experiencing any of these (or worse!), without rest and digest, you will be sooner rather than later.
 
A few minutes each day. A state of rest and digest.
A few minutes each day.

​

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    On my journey back to wholeness I have explored many modalities and can honestly say the What Now Life Coaching session was one of the most illuminating (yet non-invasive) interactions I've had.

    Jennifer used an interesting variety of tools to further guide me towards my "North Star" (soul's calling) and I walked away feeling grounded, comforted, validated and inspired.
    ​
    -Angela, Shaman.

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