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How to Awaken Your Dream (Part Three)

26/9/2018

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In the previous parts of How to Awaken Your Dream (Part One; Are You Emotionally Suppressed? Here) (Part Two; Where’s Your Wild Child? Here) the idea of accessing the ‘un-socialized’ part of ourselves, was introduced. This part, what I referred to as the ‘Wild Child,’ is the part of us that makes us unique. It makes us who we truly are, no matter what our social customs dictate and no matter where in the world we are raised. This part has access/is the connection to creativity, source energy, universal consciousness, spirit, God, whatever you wish to call the field of all possibility.
 
Why Pursue a Dream?
To put it extremely simply; Our dreams and desires are our access point to this true part of ourselves, which leads us to accessing the realm of all possibility. To put it another way. This authentic/true part of you keeps producing desires or insists on one desire, in order to get your attention and to connect you to the source of creativity.
 
Once you've spent some time reconnecting with your 'Wild Child' as described in Part Two, you can begin the dream resurrection process. 

Dream Resurrection Process
Find time and space to be alone. Bring paper and something to write with.
(If you have resistance around writing freely and honestly, promise yourself you will burn/shred the paper as soon as you’re done.)
Make yourself comfortable and safe-feeling
At the top of the page write down the title: Impossible Dreams or Desire
Write out the answers to the following questions:
When I was a child, I always wanted to be:
When I was a kid, my favorite game to play was:
If I had the money I would:
If I had no responsibilities, I would:
I always thought I would be:
I am most disappointed in myself for:
If I knew I was going to die soon, I would:
 
Caution/Word of Warning
This may stir up heavy emotions. That’s o.k. Much like a detox diet makes you feel worse for a while, while you stir up and release toxins, suppressed emotions coming awake will feel terrible. That’s o.k. Take extra good care of yourself, be gentle.
 
This is a preliminary practice for allowing your true, maybe uncivilized-self, to be heard. It gets the creative channel primed. Once the dreamer/desire part of yourself resumes functioning without judgement, you will be able to drill down to the most basic desire that has been suppressed and unfulfilled. 
Need help connecting to your desires?

Need support now that you have?


Finding Your What Now; Creating the Next Years of Your Life

​Email: coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com
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​Jennifer Washington 
Certified Martha Beck Life Coach 


What Now Life Coaching 
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www.whatnowlifecoaching.com 

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Where's Your Wild Child? Awakening a Sleeping Dream

19/9/2018

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Are You Emotionally Suppressed?
​Part Two



If you’ve ever had a dream for yourself, or an expectation of who you wanted to become and for one or, a myriad of reasons, it hasn’t yet happened, know that the dream probably hasn’t died. You have very carefully allowed it to sleep. If anything causes the desire to awaken and you habitually shut it down because it’s not the right time, or it seems impossible, all that energy you’re using to keep the desire under wraps is making you tired. Your light has dimmed. The flow of creativity, or spirit or whatever you want to call it has been choked off. You’ve become suppressed. (Depressed or Suppressed?)
 
Where's Your Wild Child?
 
So many of us are going around behaving in perfectly acceptable ways socially. We are safe in the security of predictability because ‘duh!’ that’s how civilization works. In my sessions with clients, when I tell them that we need to be letting our ‘wild child’ have some say in our lives, their immediate response, always, is to laugh and say, ‘yeah, as if,’ in plain disbelief. But I’m serious. We must learn to allow the inner creative, unpredictable spark that is our essence, have some air time.
 
In the beginning of my ‘awakening’ from utterly civilized suppression, I began sketching. I didn’t know I could draw! And I sketched my adult-self releasing my starved, abused inner child-self out of an animal cage. As I put some creative, inner-desire-expressing practices in place, I later sketched that child-self as an adolescent, strong, filled-out and growing wings. Those were my metaphorical representations of coming out of suppression.
 
It may be that going from suppression (Take My Emotional Expression Quiz), to resurrecting your dream is too big of a leap. So, what are some inner-desire-expressing practices?
 
Inner Desire (Wild Child) Expressing Practices
 
Tell the Truth
It took me several counsellors and many sessions before I could finally bring myself to say what I truly felt. I was so programmed to be ‘nice’ that saying what I was actually thinking and feeling was excruciatingly painful. When I finally trusted that I could voice the terrible things I thought and felt, without judgement, my true, inner-self began to come out of hiding.
 
Feel Safe
We cannot access our creative-self if we are locked into stress and fear. After I began to speak my truth, my beliefs, fears and never-before-told shameful experiences, I set up a sanctuary in my home. A place of my own where I could lock the door, be alone and write or just read and meditate. This did wonders for calming my always-on stressful state.
 
What’s Fun?
Scientific studies on animals show that play is innate. All animals will play and frolic. But, when a sniff of a predator, in the form of one single hair, will cause all play to cease, and the babies will forever be on alert for danger. This also happens to us. When we no longer engage in fun and play, it could be because we’re locked in fear. (See: I Have a Feeling) If you can’t think of anything that is enjoyable or fun, it is time to seek some help.
 
If your inner, creative, wild-child self has been on lock down for years, she is understandably reticent to reveal herself. Your job is to convince her that it is safe to come out and you will listen to her. Once she does begin communicating, you must be prepared to act on her wishes, to show that you are serious about listening to her.
 
We will talk about ways to encourage your Wild Child to speak in Part Three.


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'need Inner Wild-Child Expressing?

​Email: coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com
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​Jennifer Washington 
Certified Martha Beck Life Coach 


What Now Life Coaching 
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www.whatnowlifecoaching.com 

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Are You Emotionally Suppressed? Part One

12/9/2018

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​Many, many of my clients ask me at some point, “Am I depressed?” What I find most often is the case, is that they are emotionally suppressed.
 
When we look at the signs/symptoms of depression and suppression, it is understandable that we would confuse the two. Some of the signs are common to both conditions. 
 
Signs of Depression:
Feelings of hopelessness/helplessness
Loss of interest in daily activities
Change in appetite/weight
Sleep changes – insomnia or oversleeping
Agitation or anger
Loss of energy
Self-loathing
Reckless behaviour
Lack of focus
Unexplained aches and pains
 
If you suffer from these symptoms on a daily basis and have for more than several weeks, it is time to see your health care professional. A licensed physician or psychiatrist/psychologist will give you a depression screening and suggest doable treatments.
 
If you could have worked your way out of depression, you would have by now, getting help is the only way through.
 
Suppression:
 
It takes much energy to keep our true thoughts and feelings under wraps. If we have habitually put them aside, over years we are very likely suffering the consequences of that effort.
 
Common Side Effects of Long-Term Emotional Suppression:
Loss of interest in formerly fun activities
Lack of desire to be creative or create fun activities
Trouble Sleeping
Relationship conflicts
Lack of commitment
Constant fatigue
Bouts of strong, sometimes seemingly inappropriate display of emotions – Much like trying to keep a beach ball submerged under water, eventually emotions will discharge and more than likely at an inappropriate time in an inappropriate way.
 
Isolation – When face and body language don’t match our true emotions, it causes us to appear distrustful. Others pick up the disconnect in the energy and the body signals and become confused, causing them to be less likely to engage in relations with us. And of course, because of the generalized malaise we are experiencing, we are less likely to engage in social interaction.
 
Unfortunately, we are not ‘schooled’ in how to handle our emotions. Going through our lives not being able to properly express our ‘normal’ human emotions robs us of an enjoyable life.

Part Two: Where's Your Wild Child? 

Are You Emotionally Suppressed? Take the Emotional Expression Quiz

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​Resources: 
Understanding Our Emotions Series
Depression; Your Personal Message 



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Finding Your What Now Creating the Next Years of Your Life
​​Questions? Comments? I love hearing from you.
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Email:
 coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com
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​Jennifer Washington Certified Martha Beck Life Coach 
What Now Life Coaching 
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www.whatnowlifecoaching.com 

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Let Me Tell You About Susan

5/9/2018

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My Client, Susan (name changed for confidentiality), a highly talented and skilled professional came to me because she couldn’t stop crying. She was not an overly-emotional person, she told me, but found she could no longer keep her emotions in check.
 
As we talked it became clear that Susan had been pushing herself in her career and in her personal life as a wife to another talented/skilled professional and mother of 2 active, talented children. She was simply over-whelmed emotionally, mentally and physically.
 
Over the course of several sessions, Susan began to implement some very small, but very necessary self-care practices, beginning with finding a small, private space. She cleaned out a spare room in her home and set up a comfy chair with some pillows, some beautiful scented candles and brought in her iPod to play guided meditations. Once she’s done a short relaxation and if she doesn’t fall asleep!, she reads a novel. Susan makes it very clear that she is to be uninterrupted for at least 30 minutes. She does this at least three times/week. As we discussed her life, she uncovered several things that we were able to bring relief/resolution to. She has added several more life enhancing, self-care practices.
 
I received a note from Susan not that long ago. She wrote; in all my busyness and problems, you are helping me with what I have learned from you in the past.  I often hear you whispering in my ear, "you can do this, you know exactly what you are doing, and you are doing a great job.” From the bottom of my heart, thank you for always being there for me even when you don't know you are. I’ve learned to make time to take care of myself and that means spending time reading, sleeping and sharing time with those I love. When I really reflect on things, I believe, for me, it really is letting go of self-judgement and shame and allowing love. You my friend, helped me to realize this and I know when I falter you are always there to help me remember.
 
How about you? Even if you aren’t overwhelmed, does the idea of having a ‘safe space’ of your own sound appealing? What sorts of things would you put in there? What would you do there? Does the thought of letting go of self-judgment and shame speak to you?

Are you the constant support for the others in your life? How do you feel about hiring support for you? See: Stop Over-Caring, Over-Giving, Over-Doing.
 
In addition to one-on-one coaching for people like Susan, and possibly you, I have developed a program to permanently shifts the pattern of burning out/over-doing and that gives you the tools to create the life that’s right for you.

Registration for
Finding Your What Now; Creating the Next Years of Your Life is now open.

​Early Bird Pricing Held Over. Claim Your Spot Today!

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​​Questions? Comments? I love hearing from you.
​
Email:
 coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com

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​Jennifer Washington Certified Martha Beck Life Coach 
What Now Life Coaching 
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www.whatnowlifecoaching.com 

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    On my journey back to wholeness I have explored many modalities and can honestly say the What Now Life Coaching session was one of the most illuminating (yet non-invasive) interactions I've had.

    Jennifer used an interesting variety of tools to further guide me towards my "North Star" (soul's calling) and I walked away feeling grounded, comforted, validated and inspired.
    ​
    -Angela, Shaman.

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