WHAT NOW? LIFE COACHING.
  • What Now? Life Coaching
  • Services/Contact Me
  • Mushroom to Sunflower Blog
  • What Does A Life Coach Do?
  • Finding Your What Now; Creating the Next Years of Your Life
  • Depression; Your Personal Message Workbook
  • Vision Board
  • Female Emotional Neglect Recovery
  • Buy the Program
  • Are You Emotionally Neglected?

Fun with Fear

29/10/2013

2 Comments

 
Picture
It is Halloween this week, so I thought it might be fun to take a look at fear.  Fear can either be a motivator – exciting and adrenaline producing or it can paralyse – stunting our growth and forward progress.

Fear is one of 4 BASIC Emotions – the others are; joy, grief and anger. (I call them happy, sad, mad, scared.)

Real (authentic) fear has a clear source and motivates clear action.  A zombie jumps out from the bushes?

Fake (inauthentic) fear is a blanket anxiety or worry that paralyses instead of mobilizes.  The darkness. The haunting music.  The general atmosphere of suspense while wading through the halls of a haunted house...

Authentic fear activates your instinct to stay alive. The zombie jumps out of the bushes?  You will most likely fight or flee. You may even drop to the ground- ‘play dead.’

Unfortunately we are a society plagued by inauthentic fear.  Living in the concrete jungle with all of its stressors keeps our fight or flight trigger constantly on alert.  Whenever your brain perceives a threat, it does not distinguish between real or imagined threat, you will go into some form of fight, flight or paralysis.  Think suspense-filled haunted house hallway.  You are just waiting for something to jump out at you.  Imagine what that does to you over time.

So what’s a regular, fun-loving, evolving monster to do?

Once it is established that you are not in mortal danger (no real life zombies trying to kill you), you can get on with the business of deconstructing the haunting anxiety of regular life.

1)  Thoroughly research your fear.  What, if anything is threatening you?
On a much more subtle level; what don’t you want to know?  Facing up to something in your situation that needs to change in order for you to move forward in your life can be very scary. 

2)  Feel the fear.  The only thing worse than fear is the damage suffered when you’re afraid to feel it.  There will be an initial reaction to whatever is scaring you, and then a resistance to feeling scared, which increases anxiety, which further increases resistance, and so on.

3)  Accept that you’re going to feel scared many times in your life. It is impossible to know what’s ‘around the corner.’  Our imaginations are great and wreak havoc on our survival brain. (Remember, it can’t tell the difference between real or imagined fear!)  Don’t let anxiety prevent you from experiencing a full life.

4)  Make fear your ally.  Fear is the raw material from which courage is manufactured.  As you move through life – which is a series of overcoming obstacles and expanding boundaries, you’ll notice that fear is never absent.  You’ve heard the phrase ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway?’  That’s the truth. Once you've researched as much as you can, and reduced the threat to your life as much as you can, there will come a time when you must take a the leap.  Do it.

5)  The Serenity Prayer.  Accept the things you cannot change.  Find the courage (help, resources, tools) to change the things you can.  I also like Byron Katie’s precept:  Things are either; 'Your' Business, ‘Their’ Business, or God’s Business.  The only business you can rightfully be in and change is Your Business.

As you push through the fear and anxiety that appears as scary, possible zombie-like shadows in your way, you will become stronger and more resilient.  Quite possibly your life will become extremely exciting as your bravery grows.  Who knows? You may one day become so fearless that zombies will run from you!

2 Comments

Get Inspired #2

15/10/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
So, you have been meditating for two weeks now!  Way to go! You may have
started to experience some inner calm, some sense of peace, maybe a feeling of
connection? Hopefully you have become a bit hooked on meditating and have resolved to make it part of your routine.

No?  It’s not too late.  If you do no other change or add nothing else to your life, you will never regret meditating.  I promise. Start again; start now. (Go back and read Get Inspired #1)

For all of you who have been anxiously awaiting Part 2.....

Step # 2 for getting inspired is all about your thoughts.

As I indicated in step #1, engaging in your thoughts and observing your thoughts are very different activities with very different results.  When we follow our thought trails we easily become entangled and very likely stagnated.  By observing our thoughts we come to realize that we choose them, not the other way around and that, my friend, is huge.

How To Observe Your Thoughts
As you are meditating or right after you finish meditating, try to capture a thought.  Perhaps
choosing one that consistently invades your mediation, or one that has a particular emotional charge.

Then, ask this thought some questions.  (I actually write these out – ‘have a conversation with my thoughts,)
What exactly are you saying to me?
Is what you are telling me absolutely true?  (Hint:  There are really only 2 things we can know for sure; 1) we exist and 2) whatever we think we know for sure, we could be wrong.)
How does this thought I’m thinking make me feel?
How do I behave when I feel this way?
What are the consequences of this behaviour?
Are these the results I really want in my life?
Is there a better thought I can think or a better story I can tell myself, right here, right now?
If this results in better feelings, resulting in better behaviour, then I choose this new thought.

This seems that it would take a long time, but it really doesn’t.  Once you get over feeling weird talking to your thoughts, you will be amazed at how much fun this is and how good you feel after. 

Once your thoughts have had a chance to be ‘heard,’ it is as though you’ve done some mental house cleaning and you have now made room for inspiration to knock, or move right on in.
Any questions?

What should you do when you get an inspiration?  Let’s think on it and talk next week!

0 Comments

A Special Announcement

8/10/2013

1 Comment

 
Picture
Today, I am interrupting this series on Inspiration for another special inspiration announcement!

My brilliant daughter, Ali Lynn Washington, has written and just published a most amazing
book called The Perception Diet.   http://perceptiondiet.com/

It is her story of recovery from anorexia. But, more than that, it is a hands-on, how-to book for changing your relationship with your body and with life.  Alyssa explains exactly what processes she used to not only recover, but how to live her very best life.

As any mother knows, when your child is suffering, you suffer too.  The journey that Alyssa went on has also been my journey.  She and I discovered the work of Martha Beck at around the same time.  I pursued the coaching certification, which changed my life.  Alyssa pursued the tools, made them her own and used them to heal her life.

I highly recommend this book, of course because she’s my daughter and I’m so very proud of her, but, because it is filled with effective, hands-on, tried & true practices for change and growth and joy.  I believe it is a must-have manual for everyone with a body.  I know you will be very glad you when you buy it.
 
http://perceptiondiet.com/
Picture
P.S.  Let her know I sent ya!
1 Comment

Get Inspired Step #1

1/10/2013

2 Comments

 
Picture
Last week I wrote about the difference between an idea and an inspiration.  I stated that I had
some ideas about how to increase the possibility for inspiration.  In my extensive study of self-care, self-improvement, self-help and self-awareness and from my very own years of experience I have concluded there are 2 things you can practice that will increase the likelihood of inspiration. 
The first step is the topic of today’s Blog.

Get Inspired Step #1

MEDITATION:
Sorry folks.  You know deep, deep inside that you can’t avoid this any longer. 
You have been bombarded, I know, from multi sources telling you that anyone who’s anyone is meditating and you should too.  Well, ‘they’ are right.
But, before you angrily jab the little ‘x’ on this window, let’s consider how we might make this a more palatable thing to do.
Meditation, like exercise, like diet, like everything in your life can be done in a way that works for you.  Your task is to try a number of ‘methods’ until you find one that you can incorporate into the thousands of other habits that you have already enfolded into your day.

The following are just some suggestions. 
You may find something on your own that works much better and is more fun for you.

Guided Meditation:
Try YouTube.  There are a million videos with voices leading you to relaxation, abundance, money,
 happiness, etc.  The list is endless.  You can even choose the amount of time you want to spend being guided. 

A word about the amount of time here:  If you are new to meditation, it is a good idea to start out in small increments. Set a timer (or a video) for 5 minutes. Once you get comfortable
with that, increase it a minute at a time until you can sustain at least 15 minutes a day. Once you begin to see miraculous results from meditating you will want to decide how much time you
spend/day meditating.

Mantras:
Again you can search the Internet for recorded mantras.  Or you can make up your own.  It can be an affirmation, a poem, a prayer (not praying, that’s different) and song. Anything
repetitious that allows your mind to remain occupied.

Repetitive Motion:
Any activity that is repetitive and doesn’t require complete attention will do.  Swimming, walking,
running.  Again the mind goes on autopilot

Once you are engaged in a guided or repetitive action for your busy, monkey mind, you will begin to become aware of your monkey mind thoughts.  This is good.  It’s the beginning of becoming ‘awake.’  Instead of following the path of your monkey thoughts begin to observe them as a:
A) A news ticker tape scrolling across your mind. 
B) A parade, each word in a wagon on wheels.
C) A cascading waterfall in front of you. (Especially if your thoughts are tumultuous
and too many to catch).

By practicing daily, it allows what’s on the surface of your mind to get detached attention. We
are very easily distracted by our thoughts when we engage in them; but, when we observe them, 
 the ‘real’ stuff that’s in your heart/soul/spirit (you choose), laying underneath these thoughts, has a chance to be heard.  This is the beginning of possible inspiration!

I will give you 7 days, starting now, to begin your meditation practice! Go!

Tune in Next week when I will have Get Inspired Step #2 for you!
Happy meditating!
Ohm.

p.s.
My inspiration becoming real is 'in the works' right now!  So excited. 

2 Comments

    On my journey back to wholeness I have explored many modalities and can honestly say the What Now Life Coaching session was one of the most illuminating (yet non-invasive) interactions I've had.

    Jennifer used an interesting variety of tools to further guide me towards my "North Star" (soul's calling) and I walked away feeling grounded, comforted, validated and inspired.
    ​
    -Angela, Shaman.

    RSS Feed

    Picture
    Picture
    Are You Emotionally Suppressed?
    Picture
    Where's Your Wild Child? Awakening a Sleeping Dream Part Two
    Picture
    Understanding Human Emotions Part One
    Picture
    Free Worksheet!
    Picture






    ​Archives

    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    November 2012
    September 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    December 2010

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from quinn.anya, Lemsipmatt, Feist, Michael - FunnyFence - catchthefuture, Jannie-Jan, alex.shultz, DJ-Dwayne [Away till 31st November], volantwish, Viajar24h.com, JUSU, nafmo, Cloned Milkmen, litratcher, frankieleon, amishsteve, shootthedoll, William Arthur Fine Stationery, kodomut, Carodean Road Designs, torbakhopper, jessicahtam, limevelyn, Kurdishstruggle, peterworsley, tara marie, Daniel Hathaway, Calgary Reviews, KLGreenNYC, Cecily Michelle, RaubDaub, cogdogblog, Jade♥, Maria Grazia Montagnari, CinCool, x1klima, bambe1964, David Sifry, @lattefarsan, miamism, Daniel E Lee, Jellaluna, emjahn, dracychan, Denis Dervisevic, Street matt, Paxson Woelber, Glyn Lowe Photoworks., _Fidelio_, Ann Frye, Prayitno / Thank you for (10 millions +) views, markyharky, Avenue G, glasseyes view, Infomastern, craigCloutier, frank-hl, andertoons, eioua, torbakhopper, Silly Eagle Books, dronepicr, mikie t, Sustainable sanitation, Eduardo Mueses, Chrysaora, D.o.M.e.N.i.C.o (memmo77), elidr, blondinrikard, Ben+Sam, striatic, __MaRiNa__, edenpictures, fruity monkey, Thomas Rousing, R'lyeh Imaging, FaceMePLS, casey.marshall, quinn.anya, Jim Trottier, Holger Zscheyge, Athena I. Saldaña