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Postponing Procrastination

26/11/2013

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I was going to write this blog about procrastination last week, but I put it off….(ba dum pah!)
I used to be a “just get it done” kind of person, but for some reason I find I am becoming more and more of a procrastinator.  I sincerely apologize to all of you whom I’ve judged un-mercilessly about your procrastination tendencies.

Now that I have training and tools and experience working with people, (and myself!) I’ve noticed that there are a few common reasons for most forms of procrastination.  If you are staring down the barrel of a big project or even a laundry list of ‘to do’s,’ some of the following may help you.

The first most common form of putting things off is most likely to do with a belief or a thought.  I call them:  The Procrastinator’s Hit List.  Including tunes such as: “The Last Time I Tried, I Failed.”  “What if I Make A Mistake/It’s Not Perfect.”  “It’s Gonna Take A Long, Long, Long, Long Time.” And the ever-popular “I Know This Will Probably End Badly (So Why Even Start).”  These are all classic thought songs which are likely played on a 24/7 loop around any project or ‘to do’ list you have before you.  I am telling you, these appear to be ‘excuses,’ but they are just plain lies.

The second most common procrastinating tool is Distraction.

My house gets cleaned.  My plants get watered.  I find tons o’ things that suddenly warrant my attention that had been lying dormant and un-noted for months, even years before now.

Next up:   “I’m SO busy,” has become so socially acceptable it is almost treated like an honour.  It’s not.  It is our egos having us believe that we are Important (capital I) when we have so much to do, but is terrified of actually getting things done.  Because, you see, if we get everything done, then what will we do with our time?  How will we feel Important?  'Doing' is a procrastinator’s kryptonite.

Another popular distraction is weariness.  Just the idea of tackling a project or list can send me to the couch with a blanket.

Managing Procrastination.
Notice that I did not say Conquer or Banish or End.  I’m not sure procrastination can ever be eliminated, but it can certainly be managed.  (if you are very, very tuned into your inner voice, procrastination may be protecting you from moving forward too soon)

1)     Break It Down.  Instead of looking at the whole, monstrous project, take your list or project and break it down into manageable pieces.  Make a daily to do list of specific tasks related to the project.  One sentence.  If you can’t describe the do-able task in one sentence, it is too big, break it down further.

2)      Fifteen Minutes.  One of my favourite ways of ‘dealing’ with my lists is to set my A** down in my chair and set the timer for fifteen minutes.  I give myself 15 minutes to work on what needs to be worked on.  After the timer goes, if I’m on a roll, I will keep going.  But, if I’m feeling like I can’t do any more, I give myself permission to stop.  Then, I am more likely to do it again tomorrow.  Fifteen minutes of doing something is better than days of days of doing nothing!

3)     REWARD THYSELF.  Every time I work on a project that causes my procrastinator self to complain, I give myself lots and lots of rewards.  I plan them before I even begin.  I have a great coffee and good music playing while I’m working and I give myself a bigger reward when I’ve completed my daily to do.  I will read a book or email. I will watch a favourite TV. show and even make myself something especially lovely to eat.  I never skimp on my rewards, or else I would never get my projects started!

Well, lookie there!  I was just going to work on this for 15 minutes and I’m already done!  Woo hoo.  It’s playtime; catch ya later.

Go Forth and Procrastinate later!

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Fighting the Evil "Shoulds"

12/11/2013

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I want to add the word ‘should’ to the ‘bad’ word list.  ‘Should’ is such a wily, crafty thing.  It’s a culmination of  all of ‘those’ voices that constantly bombard us from outside, frighteningly absorbed and now talking to us from the inside.  We are mired in ‘shoulds.’  The thoughts are so subtle, so creepy, and so insidious they are hard to notice.  How many of your thoughts begin with ‘should?’  Think about it.  I should lose weight.  I should be nicer.  I should be better, having more sex, farther along in my career, being/doing something other than I am being/doing right now.  How is this helpful?  It’s not. Our ‘shoulds’ are keeping us stuck.  They weigh us down.  They drain the energy that we would be using to move us forward or to keep us happy where we are.

I am donning my powerful, fancy Life Coach cape (it’s red and gold and very shiny), planting my knee-high boot clad feet, hands firmly positioned on my hips, chest thrust forward and declaring war on the evil, nasty “Shoulds.” (I am completely trained for this and have full authority.  Also I have (too much!) experience fighting these evil ‘shoulds.’ Trust me.) 

You too, can fight the Evil Shoulds by following these instructions carefully.
  1. Identify and Track the Enemy.  Observe them lurking in your thoughts.  It takes training and tenacity, but you can do it.  Notice how they float through your thoughts when you are on-line, watching t.v., when you look in the mirror, or when you find out your mother is coming to visit.
  2. Counter and Resist.  Ask questions.  Is it true?  ‘Should’ you be thinner, happier, faster, smarter? Who exactly is telling you this?  (Is the ‘voice’ your mother’s? the all-knowing ‘They’ a.k.a. advertisers, media, celebrity-land, Facebook.)  Does this ‘should’ motivate me or make me feel just awful?  Then, just say nuh-uh, nope, no way, not gonna go there.
  3. Martial Artist Dance Move.  Here it is!  The bullet-proof, ‘should’-destroying, guaranteed success secret weapon: (Are you ready?  Brace yourself!)  Replace ‘should’ with ‘could’ or ‘I choose to.’

    How does that feel?  If inserting I ‘could’ or I ‘choose to’ do not feel ‘right’ or like a ‘hell yes!’ then the idea is not for you.  For example: I should go back to school becomes:  I ‘could’ go back to school.  Definitely.  I’ve done it before; I can do it again.  I ‘choose to’ to go back to school.  Well, that would require I make some changes.  How inspired am I?  How motivated am I?  What are my reasons for doing it?  By spending time and effort on this, will it be moving me in a direction I want to go?


Only you can answer these questions.  The important thing is to take the power of deciding for yourself out of the hands of those 'others out there.'  (see: Self-Help Overload?) You can move forward or stay where you are with more clarity and focus having been released from the strangle hold of the ‘Evil Shoulds.’

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Sleep Anyone?

5/11/2013

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It snowed over the weekend in the area where I live.  The temperature has plummeted.  Things outside are frozen.  Then daylight savings time happened.  All this has me thinking about hibernation.  Which leads me to want to talk about sleep.  The majority of my clients are plain old tired.  When I ‘prescribe’ sleep, they look at me like I’ve asked them to confess to a crime. Like it’s somehow cheating or being a bad lazy person when you choose to sleep over doing more stuff. You know it.  People are chronically tired.  We work too much, have too much on our schedules, have no idea how to relax and have terrible bad sleeping habits.

The way we have set up our society – according to a factory workers schedule – has tossed us into unnatural wake and sleep cycles.  Some societies, believe it or not, still have a rest time built into their afternoons!  I began napping when I had babies.  At first I did what most moms do, try to cram a whole lot of chores into the baby’s down time.  Then I got the brilliant idea to nap too.  It was tough at first.  There was guilt involved.  But, I’m so glad I did it.  I still nap every chance I get and have it down to a fine one-cycle–of-sleep science.  We are designed to wake, work, rest, and play in cycles.  Cycles in a day; cycles in a week; month, and year (think seasonal).  Our bodies, if left to a more ‘natural’ cycle would easily flow within these cycles.  However, we do not live in the jungle and are not waking/sleeping according to daylight/night-time hours and moon cycles.  But, there are some ways to grab the essential rest we lack.

Step 1:  Pay Attention

Just for a day or two, a week if you can, keep track of the times throughout the day when your energy level drops.  You will most likely notice a pattern.  Mid-morning.  Right after lunch.  When the sun sets.  Notice how the changing seasons affect you. Step 2:  Mini Break

If you are otherwise engaged in life’s activity when your power dip happens, excuse yourself if possible, take some deep breaths, stretch and shake (rattle, roll).  Drink some water.  Wash your hands.  This will at least give your body some attention and most times that is what it wants.  Step 3:  Close Your Eyes

Even just for a few minutes.  Allow yourself to sink into your chair.  Slacken your muscles, especially your jaw.

Step 4:  Take a Nap Already!

I know people who go to their cars during their lunch break and snooze.  Close your office door.  Turn off all your communication devices.  Except, maybe a small alarm.  Even 5 minutes helps. Tell your kids that mommy needs a nap.  They will be thrilled to tuck you in.

Step 5:  Go to Bed When You Are Tired

A no-brainer, right?  But we almost never do it.  You have too many things to do.  It will mess up your schedule.  I know, I know.  I’ve told myself all of them.  Sure for the first while it may alter the way you do your life, but over time you will find that if you honour what your body is telling you it needs, you will land in a cycle that works for you.  You may wake up at 4 a.m. because you went to bed at 8, but that’s ok, you can do your stuff then. 

 Step 6:  Do Research; Get Help

If insomnia or other chronic  (non) sleep conditions are your problem, please spend the time to research what you need and get the proper help.  Lack of sleep over a long time truly does shorten your life expectancy.

The single greatest self-help, self-improvement, self-advancement, life-changing technique is SLEEP.  And it is the last thing people seem willing to invest time in.  Now I want to work on instituting hibernation for the months of December and January….

 

Between naps and early bedtimes I am accepting new clients.  Especially tired ones.
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    On my journey back to wholeness I have explored many modalities and can honestly say the What Now Life Coaching session was one of the most illuminating (yet non-invasive) interactions I've had.

    Jennifer used an interesting variety of tools to further guide me towards my "North Star" (soul's calling) and I walked away feeling grounded, comforted, validated and inspired.
    ​
    -Angela, Shaman.

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