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Your Annual Permission Slip

15/12/2016

This is my Annual Permission Slip; My gift to you. I give you permission to NOT do your entire to-do list. I give you permission to stop when you are tired, eat when you are hungry, say NO (remember; ‘no.’ is a full sentence.) and comfort yourself when you are melting down. I give you permission to do whatever it is you need to do with it!

This is a Wonderful, Busy, Happy Time of year, But it is also Exhausting!
One of these days I am going to follow through on my mission to make the last month of the year mandatory hibernation time. I think it is unholy that in the coldest temperatures, with the least amount of daylight we force ourselves to do more! We see more people (‘probably many we don’t even like?), prepare and eat more food and get less sleep. It’s criminal!

I’m not telling you to quit or give up. I’m hopefully bringing your awareness to situations that are truly affecting you emotionally, physically and spiritually. If you feel like crying, throwing things, yelling more than you usually do, I’m here to validate that you are perfectly normal!

Practical How-To Here:
If you need some real, practical how-to’s you can always read my 3 B’s blog.
But please, for the love of yourself, think of some things that you can drop.
Think of how you can make what you must get done now fun for you.
Think of some ways you can take care, really take care of yourself – more baths, more sleep, less guilt, good food and
definitely some kind and loving thoughts toward yourself.

You are most likely the centre of creating beauty and joy for all of those you love. You will continue to be your fabulous self this time of year and into the new. I grant you permission to hope, to recharge, to surround yourself with kindness, generosity and love. May all be well with you.

Need Help this Holiday Season?

Jennifer Washington

Certified Martha Beck Life Coach

What Now Life Coaching

www.whatnowlifecoaching.com

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Happy Holiday Pre-Plan

14/12/2016

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(Article origin: Arbour Lake Reflections Magazine, Dec. 2014)

The busy holiday season is upon us. I have experienced ‘over-the-top’ holiday seasons and the chillest of chilled. No matter what kind of holiday I have in mind, I have found that things go so much better for me (and my sanity) when I first make a few, simple intentions and then plan.

Step One:The Pre-Plan
My suggestion before you begin holiday planning is to set your intention—pre-plan.

What do you want to feel this holiday season?
Is it peace?
Joy?
Excitement?

What kind of experience do you want to create for yourself and your loved ones?
Active?
Casual? Restorative?

Once you have an idea of your desired feelings and experiences, sit for a couple minutes and imagine feeling those feelings and experiencing the experiences.

You have just created a container or at the very least a theme. Based on those feelings or intentions, you can now;

Make lists!
Put all of the ideas bouncing around in your head down on paper. You will be amazed at how much energy this frees up. There will be great satisfaction when you get to cross the items off your lists.

Step Two: B, B & B.
Bag it, Barter it or Better It.

Take that awesome list and consider each item against the intended feelings you identified. Which items line up with your intentions? The ones that don’t; 'Bag' them - ignore, delete or throw them out.

Once those are eliminated, review the remaining list. If the items line up with your intentions but you really don’t want to do them, you can 'Barter' them. Negotiate with a friend, a co-worker or a relative to exchange goods, services and or money, if they will take care of this item for you.

Instead of pushing yourself through tasks that need to get done, even if they line up with your intentions, Better them! Give yourself a treat while you are doing your tasks (one of my standard treats: Starbuck's coffee. Makes me whistle while I work.) OR reward yourself immediately upon completion of something on your list—a nap, reading, a bubble bath—make it celebratory/congratulatory. We do not differ from animals who respond well to praise and treats. By rewarding yourself, even for doing things that are ‘necessary,’ we will have more energy and enthusiasm in our daily lives.

You can experiment with applying these ideas and tools to holiday events, invitations and obligations as well. These steps and tools will add energy and enthusiasm to your holiday planning and enjoyment.

Need Help this Holiday Season?

Jennifer Washington

Certified Martha Beck Life Coach

What Now Life Coaching

www.whatnowlifecoaching.com

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The Resistance

8/12/2016

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The Resistance

I feel I have lived much of my life with my brakes on. Maybe you can relate? A combination of my childhood experiences, my naturally skeptical essential self and the bizarreness of human behaviour in general, have developed within me, no small amount of resistance behaviours. I take everything with a grain of salt. If I’m told something is ‘good for me,’ I demand wildly dramatic results before I’ll get on board and agree. Consequently, I am quite slow to learn things. My aha moments take a while and they require clues from numerous sources, over a period of time.

Resistance Is An Opposing Force to Anything That Feels Remotely Like it Can Alter Our Current State

I’m discovering, this opposing force is me! And I am opposing reality. I, like you, maybe, was taught to overcome, push through and conquer resistance with discipline. That works well when you’re body-building or training for a marathon. In personal growth, resistance is a message. When I feel resistance now, I see it as a clue that there is information trying to get my attention.

At it’s very core, resistance, to anything, is our ego’s way of protecting us. We have carefully constructed all kinds of barriers to being hurt emotionally, physically and psychically. Anything that comes along that feels remotely like it can alter our current state – even if that state is terrible, it is a familiar state, and we love familiar way more than uncertainty – is met with resistance. But, what if the thing we are blocking, even though it will upset our current state, is exactly what we need in order to grow and expand?

My Resistance is a Gang of Guerilla War-farers

I have held off my growth and expansion heroically. For years. I am a master at protecting myself from things that may feel uncomfortable. But, guess what? I’m tired. Resistance is hard. My resistance is relentless. My resistance is like a gang of guerilla war-farers, cleverly and consistently finding ways to sabotage me and my life, like the masses overthrowing dictators. When I sit down with these freedom fighters and thank them for their protection, I can see what is hiding behind them. Reality. Meaning what’s actually happening, not what I perceive through all my defense filters is happening. Reality always has the information I need to become a better me. A more helpful, useful, contributing, happier me.

Let Resistance Go and Die

What does letting go of resistance look like exactly? It means hearing the negative feedback. It means doing the action I’m scared to do. It means being honest about what’s not working in my life. It means dying to who I think I am and becoming who I really am.

I have not mastered resisting reality, by any means. I am still getting my bearings–attempting to drive with my foot off the brake – not quite on the gas yet. My resistance always at the ready to battle reality, temporarily.

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We Get To Decide

1/12/2016

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We Get To Decide

I watched a television program about grown men who collect old washing machines and dryers. These men, from all over geographically, gather together and do laundry! Another show featured salt and pepper container collectors. One couple had every wall of their home lined with cabinets containing salt and pepper shakers. They regularly gathered with other collectors at huge conventions for all sorts of collectible, rare and truly strange salt and pepper shakers.

These things make me happy for several reasons. 1) seeing people passionate and happy makes me happy 2) seeing what simple (strange?) things makes other people happy makes me feel much better about what I think is important. 3) It reminds me that we get to decide what is important!

Everyone Seems Fabulous

If you are any way connected to social media, being able to maintain a good, healthy sense of perspective about your life can be a big challenge. In social media land, in the land of advertising, in Hollywood, everyone seems to be enjoying life in a much grander way than you. Even the people sharing their struggles seem so much more enlightened in their pain than you.

The older I get the more I realize that we, as a species, really do not know (wt..) we are doing. All of it is made up. We are influenced by so many things and the worst part is that we are unaware of 99.9% of the influence. The influence is micro—our current circumstances, our family, friends, schools, clubs, networks, etc. And it is macro—history, government, cultures, media, the internet, etc. And again, the older I get the more I see there are so many things I truly do NOT give a flying fig about, but make others dizzy with joy.

Discontent and Failure; Life’s Greatest Teachers

There are no happiness life hacks. Life brings us pain, uncontrollable, unforeseen circumstances despite our best defenses. We haven’t figured out the secret to avoiding failure. If beauty and money were a guarantee of great relationships, then Brad and Angelina would be together. If working hard guaranteed success, we wouldn’t have poverty ridden single parents. In fact, failure is still our most powerful teacher. We are wired to feel discontent. Because the universe we live in is ever expanding, we are always expanding. It’s the discontent that has been and will continue to be the catalyst for our greatest inventions and the way we most effectively evolve.

Problem Solve Your Way to Happiness

How do we not become self-obsessed or conspiracy-theory driven nut balls? Put some effort into figuring out what you, alone, without judgement, really value. What does success and happiness look like to you? Why? Align as best you can with what you find personally of value and pick something to focus your energy on that truly engages you. Then, endeavour to overcome any obstacles and problem solve until you succeed. Then, you guessed it, do it again! Remember, happiness is just one feeling and like all feelings is not constant. It comes and goes and why it happens changes.

Most of all, try not to care so much about what others think.

If you need me, I'll be in my rainbow unicorn tap dancing studio...

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Your Annual Permission Slip

Happy Holiday Pre-Plan

​Need Help this Holiday Season?

The Resistance

We Get To Decide

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