WHAT NOW? LIFE COACHING.
  • What Now? Life Coaching
  • Services/Contact Me
  • Get Instant Relief
  • Mushroom to Sunflower Blog
  • What Does A Life Coach Do?
  • Finding Your What Now; Creating the Next Years of Your Life
  • Depression; Your Personal Message Workbook
  • Vision Board
  • Sister Circle

Checking the P-A System.

19/6/2011

0 Comments

 
Definition: from Medical Dictionary
1 passive-aggressive definition
Function: adj
:being, marked by, or displaying behavior characterized by expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive way (as through procrastination, stubbornness, and unwillingness to communicate) <A< span>passive-aggressive  personality>

A coach friend and I were hashing over our ‘stuff’ as we do at our weekly coffee meetings.  She introduced the topic of being passive-aggressive because of a behavior questionnaire that she had filled out.  I identified strongly with the traits that she described.  So I spent the week watching for any p-a behavior in order to track the situations that it arises in me. What I discovered was surprising.

So where I have I been passive-aggressive?  It is a well formed habit for me to take what’s being asked of me with a smile but not to state my true thoughts and wishes.  Which, in a lot of cases, is ‘no, I don’t want to do that.’  Instead of stating my desires or entering into mature negotiation, I go about doing what is asked of me, but with resentment or procrastination or stubbornness… basically a bad attitude. But, hey, I’m doing what was asked, aren’t I? 

There are a number of situations in my life where things are just not flowing.  Obstacles to getting things accomplished are being constantly thrown up in my path.  Huh.  I finally had the courage to sit with this reality and ask for guidance about what I could do to change these circumstances.  It ‘came’ to me that this is how passive-aggression is being mirrored back to me! The resolutions are coming, but with procrastination, stubbornness and even resentment!

I asked for forgiveness, forgave myself and asked for courage to change the things I can in a good, healthy, productive, on the up-and-up sort of way and the wisdom to know the difference.  I am still on the look-out for my p-a  tendencies so that I can turn them around before they turn around on me.

How do you publically address passive-aggression?  Like everything, it seems, acknowledgement is step one.  Try to catch the times you display the behavior then ask yourself how you could have handled it differently.  Ask yourself what you are afraid of if you assert yourself, your opinion, your wants/needs.  Understand that the consequences of the behavior are not only cumbersome to whomever you are directing it at, but the behavior is also detrimental to your own happiness.

And may I and you and the flow go .....erm, flowingly. :)

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    On my journey back to wholeness I have explored many modalities and can honestly say the What Now Life Coaching session was one of the most illuminating (yet non-invasive) interactions I've had.

    Jennifer used an interesting variety of tools to further guide me towards my "North Star" (soul's calling) and I walked away feeling grounded, comforted, validated and inspired.
    ​
    -Angela, Shaman.

    RSS Feed

    Picture
    Picture
    Are You Emotionally Suppressed?
    Picture
    Where's Your Wild Child? Awakening a Sleeping Dream Part Two
    Picture
    Understanding Human Emotions Part One
    Picture
    Free Worksheet!
    Picture






    ​Archives

    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    November 2012
    September 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    December 2010

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from quinn.anya, Lemsipmatt, Feist, Michael - FunnyFence - catchthefuture, Jannie-Jan, alex.shultz, DJ-Dwayne [Away till 31st November], volantwish, Viajar24h.com, JUSU, nafmo, Cloned Milkmen, litratcher, frankieleon, amishsteve, shootthedoll, William Arthur Fine Stationery, kodomut, Carodean Road Designs, torbakhopper, jessicahtam, limevelyn, Kurdishstruggle, peterworsley, tara marie, Daniel Hathaway, Calgary Reviews, KLGreenNYC, Cecily Michelle, RaubDaub, cogdogblog, Jade&hearts;, Maria Grazia Montagnari, CinCool, x1klima, bambe1964, David Sifry, @lattefarsan, miamism, Daniel E Lee, Jellaluna, emjahn, dracychan, Denis Dervisevic, Street matt, Paxson Woelber, Glyn Lowe Photoworks., _Fidelio_, Ann Frye, Prayitno / Thank you for (10 millions +) views, markyharky, Avenue G, glasseyes view, Infomastern, craigCloutier, frank-hl, andertoons, eioua, torbakhopper, Silly Eagle Books, andreboeni, dronepicr, mikie t, Sustainable sanitation, Eduardo Mueses, Chrysaora, D.o.M.e.N.i.C.o (memmo77), elidr, blondinrikard, Ben+Sam, striatic, __MaRiNa__, edenpictures, fruity monkey, Thomas Rousing, R'lyeh Imaging, FaceMePLS, casey.marshall, quinn.anya, Jim Trottier, Holger Zscheyge, Athena I. SaldaƱa