You left, quit, vacated, re-located, shifted because it became impossible to stay, to stay the same.
Congratulations. Your future (the next moment) is blank, open, and scary.
This is your ‘temporary normal.’
Something has happened. It has knocked you out of your ‘regular, predictable life.’ You are now on a journey that you may or may not have chosen.
You are moving toward somewhere you’ve never been. It’s like a magnet. It is not like you to go without at least some sort of plan, but you know you ‘have to’ go. Great!
Keep making small, doable steps. Quit and start again, as many times as needed.
What You Know for Sure
Transition/transformation is happening.
You’re not who you were.
You can’t go back - you’ve tried - because even an awful ‘familiar’ feels better than the terrifying ‘unknown.’
You’ve been changed.
You no longer fit anywhere.
You’re no longer who you were, you’re not yet who you’re going to be (Liminal Spaces).
What to Do
Rest, take care, be gentle, kind.
Do not tolerate anyone or anything that is not gentle, kind and caring.
It seems ‘the baby has been thrown out with the bathwater.’ And it has. Things, ways, a you that used to work, no longer work. However, one day, when you’re not expecting it, you will see a possibility for yourself. You’ll feel a spark of hope. Ideas and possibilities will appear; they’ve been there all along, but you now notice them. You will begin to re-fill the bath water and put your perfect baby back in it. You will choose only what is right for you. This is how you will know you are healing, know you are moving toward your new, real self and place in the world. Let it happen. It will come by its own accord.
Rest. Take care. Be gentle. Be kind.
I have tools I can share for the journey. I’m here if you need me.