This is the question that has been rattling around in my head for several weeks now. So I finally set about answering it.
In grade school I was one of the taller kids, there were only 2 girls taller than me, and no boys. I had a growth spurt in Grade 8 and became the tallest kid in the class – until the beginning of Grade 9, when a load of other kids got their growth spurt and caught up or passed me. But the experience was not a good one for me. I did not enjoy being bigger, the biggest. I’m guessing I did not have the confidence to handle the attention. So, since then I have avoided wearing high heels. I really like high heels. I even think I have good legs that look good in high heels. But heels make me taller than average and I feel uncomfortable.
I struggle to keep my weight down. Another way I believe I need to be ‘small.’ Why not endeavour to be strong, fit, vital?
As I was pondering this the thought of high blood pressure popped into my head. What is high blood pressure? I asked myself. The image that came to me was; pushing life force through a restricted vessel. That resonated loudly with me. I seem to be trying to fit myself, my life, into a smaller shape.
I want my life to be bigger. More abundant. Not with ‘stuff’, but with relationships and experiences. Someone very wise said to me this week, “If there wasn’t enough room for you, you wouldn’t be here.” Profound.
I am seriously questioning if I believe that if I am more, someone will have to be less. I don't think this is true, but do I act as if it is? I see my recent ‘resting’ time as a way that my ‘life force’ is getting stronger, gathering momentum. I believe I’m getting ready for the time that I and my life will be bigger.
Where are you making yourself small?
I think I will wear my high heeled pumps to work tomorrow.
In grade school I was one of the taller kids, there were only 2 girls taller than me, and no boys. I had a growth spurt in Grade 8 and became the tallest kid in the class – until the beginning of Grade 9, when a load of other kids got their growth spurt and caught up or passed me. But the experience was not a good one for me. I did not enjoy being bigger, the biggest. I’m guessing I did not have the confidence to handle the attention. So, since then I have avoided wearing high heels. I really like high heels. I even think I have good legs that look good in high heels. But heels make me taller than average and I feel uncomfortable.
I struggle to keep my weight down. Another way I believe I need to be ‘small.’ Why not endeavour to be strong, fit, vital?
As I was pondering this the thought of high blood pressure popped into my head. What is high blood pressure? I asked myself. The image that came to me was; pushing life force through a restricted vessel. That resonated loudly with me. I seem to be trying to fit myself, my life, into a smaller shape.
I want my life to be bigger. More abundant. Not with ‘stuff’, but with relationships and experiences. Someone very wise said to me this week, “If there wasn’t enough room for you, you wouldn’t be here.” Profound.
I am seriously questioning if I believe that if I am more, someone will have to be less. I don't think this is true, but do I act as if it is? I see my recent ‘resting’ time as a way that my ‘life force’ is getting stronger, gathering momentum. I believe I’m getting ready for the time that I and my life will be bigger.
Where are you making yourself small?
I think I will wear my high heeled pumps to work tomorrow.
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