I thought I’d mention that, just in case you had any doubts.
And, it turns out, being lied to is also bad for you.
Ruth was having a very bad day. She couldn’t concentrate, she had a headache and she was feeling exhausted. She wrestled with herself for hours, trying to get her day back on track. Finally, because she had been well coached (!), she sat down with a piece of paper to write out what exactly was wrong in her world. It turned out that she had been lied to by someone very close to her. But, because she was a good person and didn’t want to believe that this important person would lie to her, she chose to reject what she ‘knew’ and to proceed as if the truth was a lie. Her body wouldn’t let her.
The truth sets you free. Truth feels like freedom
When Ruth finally allowed even the idea that she had been lied to by someone she loved, the fuzzy exhausted feeling lifted, like clouds literally parting. That’s all it took. Once the truth was entertained, what to do about it took care of itself. Because she was ‘clear’ Ruth could then decide what her next actions were.
A 2002 study by the American Psychological Association found that lying actually impacts your physical and mental health. Those that were studied and found to be lying suffered more aches, pains and feelings of sadness than those who told the truth.
Everyone lies. To themselves and others.
Why do we lie?
Because we can. It is a sign of creativity and intelligence to be able to take the truth and spin it or perceive it as something different.
We do it because we are afraid. Afraid of social rejection.
If I tell you your hair cut makes you look dorky, I’m pretty sure you will like me less.
We do it because it seems easier in order to just get along.
But, even white lies have consequences.
How often do you suffer headaches? Low energy? Colds/flus?
The nature of the lie is really not the issue. The issue is why do you feel the need to lie? Why are you allowing yourself to be lied to? What exactly are you afraid of?
There is a way to be truthful, to live truthfully without being a completely rejected
social outcast. When we allow the truth that is always right in front of us, it will instruct us how to use our social skills to live more authentically and in turn allow and cause those
around us to also live more authentically.