I’ve been spending quite some time in what Martha Beck calls Square One Meltdown. Square one is a stage that repeats in our lives as we cycle through our existence. It is a period of transition. Of leaving one state and going to another. Martha uses a butterfly metaphor to describe the process. The meltdown stage is where the caterpillar wakes up one day – a day like every other day, I’m guessing, and decides that on this day he will begin to build himself a sweet cocoon so that he can zip himself safely away from the elements and have a complete and literal, well, meltdown. He will become caterpillar goo. He will die. Now why would he choose this? My guess is, he doesn’t. It is wired into him to do it. It is in his nature. His mom and dad don’t send him to Butterfly U to learn the steps it takes to completely morph into different form. He was not ‘conditioned’ to stop being a caterpillar and grow wings, and colors and fly.
So it is with us. It is wired into our nature to change, to morph to leave one stage and travel into another. If you are like me, you take all of this in stride, for granted, until it ‘happens’ to you. Because it ‘happens’ to you. Going from childhood to puberty is not a choice. Going from adolescence to adulthood is, contrary to popular belief, not a choice either. And aging, unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your ability to accept change, is also inevitable. It also ‘happens to you’ when a tragedy or even great fortune hits. Transformation happens when what you were no longer works. Things you used to like to do no longer make sense. The things that used to drive you, don’t anymore. What you valued before seems futile now. You outgrow your beliefs. In the midst of all of this you have no idea yet, what does work, what you like, what you really value, what you actually believe. You are in a goo state. I am finding that this goo state is lasting longer than I would like and I am uncomfortable being uncomfortable. It is not my favorite state. (Hawaii is.)
It is an ingrained habit to find the problem and fix it. To strain forward to get to what will be. In this ‘in between’ state I am waiting to become the next stage of who I am meant to be. I am learning to let go of everything I thought of as certain. As I rest (because I have no other choice) in caterpillar goo I am being asked to observe my inner workings to find clues to how my behaviours and patterns affect my happiness or unhappiness. Then, to sit with that information, that truth, and be transformed by it. It is not like exercise where I work over and over to improve a skill, it is more like a piece of dirty metal sitting in an incinerator until it reveals itself as gold. It’s a process. It is messy. It is unpredictable and uncontrollable. I’m guessing these lessons help the butterfly learn how to ride the wind. If you or someone you know is in transition, in meltdown, be patient. You/they can’t help it. Celebrate when you/they emerge with new wings.
So it is with us. It is wired into our nature to change, to morph to leave one stage and travel into another. If you are like me, you take all of this in stride, for granted, until it ‘happens’ to you. Because it ‘happens’ to you. Going from childhood to puberty is not a choice. Going from adolescence to adulthood is, contrary to popular belief, not a choice either. And aging, unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your ability to accept change, is also inevitable. It also ‘happens to you’ when a tragedy or even great fortune hits. Transformation happens when what you were no longer works. Things you used to like to do no longer make sense. The things that used to drive you, don’t anymore. What you valued before seems futile now. You outgrow your beliefs. In the midst of all of this you have no idea yet, what does work, what you like, what you really value, what you actually believe. You are in a goo state. I am finding that this goo state is lasting longer than I would like and I am uncomfortable being uncomfortable. It is not my favorite state. (Hawaii is.)
It is an ingrained habit to find the problem and fix it. To strain forward to get to what will be. In this ‘in between’ state I am waiting to become the next stage of who I am meant to be. I am learning to let go of everything I thought of as certain. As I rest (because I have no other choice) in caterpillar goo I am being asked to observe my inner workings to find clues to how my behaviours and patterns affect my happiness or unhappiness. Then, to sit with that information, that truth, and be transformed by it. It is not like exercise where I work over and over to improve a skill, it is more like a piece of dirty metal sitting in an incinerator until it reveals itself as gold. It’s a process. It is messy. It is unpredictable and uncontrollable. I’m guessing these lessons help the butterfly learn how to ride the wind. If you or someone you know is in transition, in meltdown, be patient. You/they can’t help it. Celebrate when you/they emerge with new wings.
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