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What My Bad Day Taught Me.

24/3/2012

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Yesterday I had a bad day.  A day I completely created myself. 

I am in the process of overhauling my diet and exercise routine.  I have a nutrition/fitness coach.  I have been working out harder than I have in years.  I thought I was in relatively good shape, because I run and do yoga.  I make a point of doing something physical each day.  I’m not in good shape.  My work outs are hard and I sweat and I swear.  I thought my diet was pretty good too. Not!  I have been vegetarian and vegan-ish for years.  My nutritionist has made me realize that my choices have been quite high in fat.  No wonder I was enjoying myself so much ….and became 15 pounds heavier than I want to be.

So, back to yesterday.   After two weeks of working quite hard and transforming some habits I was feeling a bit of, let’s say it nicely, ‘tension.’ (I was feeling bitchy, is the actually word).  I went to the grocery store.  It was cold out.  I was tired.  I was hormonal.  As soon as I got there, I felt the urge, you know, to go to the bathroom.  I do not like public washrooms.  I loathe them! So I decided I didn’t have to go.  Which added to the pleasantness of the shopping experience, as you can imagine.

I forced myself to rush home so that I could relax in my own bathroom.  But, realized, I really did not purchase all the groceries I needed.  I proceeded to pig out on hummus and bread, which is not such a ‘bad’ thing, I made the hummus myself.  The bread was yummy, heavy and white.  Oops.  And oh, oh, now I have to answer to my coach.  After my food medicating wore off I asked myself what was really going on.  Why was I so frustrated?  What is frustration trying to tell me?  I concluded that it was telling me that I was fighting for control.  I was fighting for control of my diet, my exercise, my bladder and even was mad about the weather.

I reacted immaturely.  Childishly.  Instead of seeing the changes I’m implementing as positive, I turned them into work and drudgery.  Instead of putting on an extra sweater, I was angry about the cold.  Instead of just going to the bathroom….well, you get it.

I coach people to be aware of sentences that start with ‘should.’  I caught myself big time yesterday in ‘should’ land.  When we are telling ourselves we ‘should’ something, we are immediately not living now.  Better thinking is ‘I can, I will, I am.’  Starting today I am choosing the process of change that I’m experiencing and I am grateful for the help that surrounds me.  I hope that if there is a next time, I can catch the ‘should’ before it gets me!

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    On my journey back to wholeness I have explored many modalities and can honestly say the What Now Life Coaching session was one of the most illuminating (yet non-invasive) interactions I've had.

    Jennifer used an interesting variety of tools to further guide me towards my "North Star" (soul's calling) and I walked away feeling grounded, comforted, validated and inspired.
    ​
    -Angela, Shaman.

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