I’m an analyzer. I love dissecting thoughts, ideas, concepts. I like figuring out why. I’m not very emotional. I don’t react spontaneously. I usually think, “ what should my reaction be?” If someone insults me, my mind is busy ruminating on how exactly I should respond. I won’t even go into all of the ways that that this is not a great response , mental health wise, but, I’ve long ago accepted I’m not ‘normal.’ (I read a good quote on Facebook this week; Normal people are people you don’t know very well yet). ‘Back to my point….I have mentioned before that my idea of dealing with emotions is to acknowledge them and then I assume they go away. Hah! I laugh at myself. Every day.
I am learning to connect with my emotions and that connection is coming through my body. I have been spending some time doing meditation and yoga and am finding surprising occurrences. I am tuning into the areas in my body that are stiff, sore, tight, inflamed. So much discomfort. So many body parts! From study and research of mind/body connecting practices I have come to understand that my emotions are being stored in my body. Filed really, for later reference. Great. Not!
Body awareness/meditation has given me tools to first get to these files and coaching has given me tools to be able to decipher their content. Yesterday I became aware of a constant sharp pain just below my right shoulder blade, close to my spine. It’s been there a very long time. I’m sure it started subtly and grew and I just became accustomed to it being there. As I spent time with the pain, using the tools I’ve learned, the pain ‘explained’ itself as a stab wound. A feeling that I’d been ‘stabbed in the back.’ Upon further investigation I came to conclude that the emotion in the pain was one of betrayal. I have been betrayed. Many times. Who hasn’t? I have betrayed others. Many others. I am sorry. What is most surprising and freeing is to learn that I have betrayed myself. For many years I have overridden my needs and subjugated what I really wanted in order to please others or because I believed something else was the ‘right’ thing to do. My essential self may be forgiving but it doesn’t forget! I am learning every day to become closer to my essential self. The real me. The me that knows what’s best for me. And slowly, the real me is trusting me again. Trusting that I will listen, feel, honour what ‘she’ really wants. And when I don't, 'she' will let me know.
I still ‘think’ everything through first. Then I take my thinker to my meditation room and ask my body what’s up? Essential me will tell me if ‘she’ ‘feels’ like it! The sharp pain in my back is gone now. If it returns I will assume it is a reminder to be true to myself.
Time to Register for Coaching 101. Class Starts This Tuesday!
I am learning to connect with my emotions and that connection is coming through my body. I have been spending some time doing meditation and yoga and am finding surprising occurrences. I am tuning into the areas in my body that are stiff, sore, tight, inflamed. So much discomfort. So many body parts! From study and research of mind/body connecting practices I have come to understand that my emotions are being stored in my body. Filed really, for later reference. Great. Not!
Body awareness/meditation has given me tools to first get to these files and coaching has given me tools to be able to decipher their content. Yesterday I became aware of a constant sharp pain just below my right shoulder blade, close to my spine. It’s been there a very long time. I’m sure it started subtly and grew and I just became accustomed to it being there. As I spent time with the pain, using the tools I’ve learned, the pain ‘explained’ itself as a stab wound. A feeling that I’d been ‘stabbed in the back.’ Upon further investigation I came to conclude that the emotion in the pain was one of betrayal. I have been betrayed. Many times. Who hasn’t? I have betrayed others. Many others. I am sorry. What is most surprising and freeing is to learn that I have betrayed myself. For many years I have overridden my needs and subjugated what I really wanted in order to please others or because I believed something else was the ‘right’ thing to do. My essential self may be forgiving but it doesn’t forget! I am learning every day to become closer to my essential self. The real me. The me that knows what’s best for me. And slowly, the real me is trusting me again. Trusting that I will listen, feel, honour what ‘she’ really wants. And when I don't, 'she' will let me know.
I still ‘think’ everything through first. Then I take my thinker to my meditation room and ask my body what’s up? Essential me will tell me if ‘she’ ‘feels’ like it! The sharp pain in my back is gone now. If it returns I will assume it is a reminder to be true to myself.
Time to Register for Coaching 101. Class Starts This Tuesday!
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