I’ve been spending lots of time with lots of women.
Almost all of them feel overwhelmed. Women continue to be the primary
care givers to their children, to do the bulk of the household chores and to
work outside the home, and in very many cases in demanding, professional/highly
skilled jobs. Quite a few women find themselves with the additional task of being the major bread winner, as well. To that, add extended family requirements/expectations, school
volunteering, and even church/community service.
Gosh darn she just can’t seem to find the time to take care of her own needs, let alone fill herself up. Therefore, she is performing all of the above while being chronically fatigued, with recurring bouts of illness and/or insidious pain some where in her body.
We have come a long way baby, but are we having any fun?
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I say the answer is Hells No!
The very saddest part about this sad situation is, and I am the previous poster woman for this, most women are overwhelmed and we’ve made it that way.
It starts out innocently enough with the best of intentions. We really do want to be helpful and do
care and do enjoy giving, but over time and task by task, the load we take on—the being everything to everyone—becomes impossible to bear. But to do anything about it would mean we’d have to tell the truth.
The Truth
This no longer works for me. I know you will be inconvenienced, uncomfortable, have to assume some responsibility. I don’t like spending holidays with your family. I am going away by myself, be sure the house is clean when I get home. No I can’t help you right now, you’ll have to wait. I'll be having a nap.
The Necessary Change
To change from being overwhelmed to a healthy state, physically, mentally and emotionally, would mean we must face our fear.
If we insist on change and stand up for ourselves, then what? What if they can’t do it on their own? What if they suffer? What if they can’t figure it out themselves? What if they do it their way and it’s wrong? What if they talk about me behind my back? What if they stop liking me? I signed up, I guess I should follow through...
Is it really better that you are inconvenienced? Uncomfortable? In chronic pain? A resentful martyr? ‘Not a minute to yourself? So that others 'like' you?
Do you really want to continue enabling someone else’s lack of responsibility, or pleasing people who don’t really know or even like the ‘real’ you? If you cannot be your true self, are they really 'your' people? This isn't working for me anymore is a reasonable and valid statement.
Think about these things. I have and I’m still working on them.
A great thing about overwhelm? It's showing us that it's time to take back our power and energy. It is time to tune into our true needs and desires.
Almost all of them feel overwhelmed. Women continue to be the primary
care givers to their children, to do the bulk of the household chores and to
work outside the home, and in very many cases in demanding, professional/highly
skilled jobs. Quite a few women find themselves with the additional task of being the major bread winner, as well. To that, add extended family requirements/expectations, school
volunteering, and even church/community service.
Gosh darn she just can’t seem to find the time to take care of her own needs, let alone fill herself up. Therefore, she is performing all of the above while being chronically fatigued, with recurring bouts of illness and/or insidious pain some where in her body.
We have come a long way baby, but are we having any fun?
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I say the answer is Hells No!
The very saddest part about this sad situation is, and I am the previous poster woman for this, most women are overwhelmed and we’ve made it that way.
It starts out innocently enough with the best of intentions. We really do want to be helpful and do
care and do enjoy giving, but over time and task by task, the load we take on—the being everything to everyone—becomes impossible to bear. But to do anything about it would mean we’d have to tell the truth.
The Truth
This no longer works for me. I know you will be inconvenienced, uncomfortable, have to assume some responsibility. I don’t like spending holidays with your family. I am going away by myself, be sure the house is clean when I get home. No I can’t help you right now, you’ll have to wait. I'll be having a nap.
The Necessary Change
To change from being overwhelmed to a healthy state, physically, mentally and emotionally, would mean we must face our fear.
If we insist on change and stand up for ourselves, then what? What if they can’t do it on their own? What if they suffer? What if they can’t figure it out themselves? What if they do it their way and it’s wrong? What if they talk about me behind my back? What if they stop liking me? I signed up, I guess I should follow through...
Is it really better that you are inconvenienced? Uncomfortable? In chronic pain? A resentful martyr? ‘Not a minute to yourself? So that others 'like' you?
Do you really want to continue enabling someone else’s lack of responsibility, or pleasing people who don’t really know or even like the ‘real’ you? If you cannot be your true self, are they really 'your' people? This isn't working for me anymore is a reasonable and valid statement.
Think about these things. I have and I’m still working on them.
A great thing about overwhelm? It's showing us that it's time to take back our power and energy. It is time to tune into our true needs and desires.
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