Is there someone in your life that constantly irks you? You talk about how much this person bugs you with whoever will listen, because this person, well, always bugs the H out of you. If only this person were not so irritating, your life would be so much better. Anyone come to mind?
The theory is that we focus on things that are psychologically important to us. In Martha Beck’s “The Joy Diet” book, she offers an exercise to help uncover what’s going on with you and your ‘obsession’ with this person.
The first thing is to Identify said person. Write their name down.
Step 2: Make a list of all the behaviours that mildly annoy, to out-and-out make you nuts that said person does. This is the really fun part. Go ahead. Get it all out.
Step 3: Review the list and consider that these are parts of yourself that you either need to incorporate into your own behaviour or accept that these are traits you are denying in yourself.
How does that feel?
You may be obsessing about this person because they are your mirror. Enlightened masters will tell you that you can’t perceive in others what is not in yourself. The things that we judge, condemn or brood on in others is the way we resist things that we believe or have been told are ‘bad.’
Of course your enemy may not be morally right and I’m assuming here that they are not a criminal.
When we consider that some of the traits of our ‘enemy’ may be a possibility for us, it helps to get us out of our tight boxes and frees up our imagination and creativity. It is important to adopt some of your ‘enemy’s’ traits especially if they have or do what you wished you had or could do! This enables us to start to look for new ways to pursue things we may not have otherwise thought possible to pursue.
At least, consider that some of the irksome traits that you listed are some of the traits that you possess and use the information to be more accepting of yourself.
The theory is that we focus on things that are psychologically important to us. In Martha Beck’s “The Joy Diet” book, she offers an exercise to help uncover what’s going on with you and your ‘obsession’ with this person.
The first thing is to Identify said person. Write their name down.
Step 2: Make a list of all the behaviours that mildly annoy, to out-and-out make you nuts that said person does. This is the really fun part. Go ahead. Get it all out.
Step 3: Review the list and consider that these are parts of yourself that you either need to incorporate into your own behaviour or accept that these are traits you are denying in yourself.
How does that feel?
You may be obsessing about this person because they are your mirror. Enlightened masters will tell you that you can’t perceive in others what is not in yourself. The things that we judge, condemn or brood on in others is the way we resist things that we believe or have been told are ‘bad.’
Of course your enemy may not be morally right and I’m assuming here that they are not a criminal.
When we consider that some of the traits of our ‘enemy’ may be a possibility for us, it helps to get us out of our tight boxes and frees up our imagination and creativity. It is important to adopt some of your ‘enemy’s’ traits especially if they have or do what you wished you had or could do! This enables us to start to look for new ways to pursue things we may not have otherwise thought possible to pursue.
At least, consider that some of the irksome traits that you listed are some of the traits that you possess and use the information to be more accepting of yourself.
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