I am disturbed by advertisements and blogs proclaiming that New Years’ Resolutions don’t work. Dare I say, everyone has made lasting changes, major and minor, over a lifetime of resolutions. And, they don’t have to be made only at New Years’.
I believe resolutions can and do work…BUT…(There’s always a ‘but,’ isn’t there?) they have to be for the right reasons and done in the right way, for YOU! If you are embarking on an effort to change, improve or move forward in some area of your life, here are some reasons why resolutions can and will work for you.
1) Understand your why.
Why do you think you need to do/change what you’ve chosen as your resolution? Are you trying to please, impress someone? Are you doing it because your mother said you should? Do you believe it will bring you lasting joy and happiness? A major reason resolutions fail is because we think they are expected of us. We are not doing them because they are right for us. When you understand why you have chosen what you have chosen, you are better able to decide if the resolution is the right one for you. If it’s not right for you or even if it’s not the right time yet, then DON’T do it!
2) Connect to the future you.
Can you reasonably picture what you will look like, feel like, and act like when you achieve your goal? It is very important to at least be able to have an idea what you are going for. If you can’t picture it or feel it; do some research. What do the people that have what you want look like, feel like, and act like? Create a vision board, or write a story that puts you in that space.
3) Get support.
Be sure there are people around you who will encourage you, who believe that you can do what you are setting out to do. Nothing like sabotaging friends or family members to take the wind out of your sails and make achieving your goal harder, if not impossible. Know that you are going to have bad days. Be gentle with yourself and call in encouragement. Avoid calling those that you know will tell you they knew you’d fail and to just quit.
4) Have Fun.
It is not just about the destination. Build fun into the journey in any way you can. The realization of your goals may be a longer way off. Be patient. It takes a while to turn things around, especially life long habits.
Some of the changes you are going to make will not be easy. Turning things around can be hard work some times. You will have to be uncomfortable during the process. I think of it like this. I ‘resolved’ at some point to drink my coffee black and to smoke. Learning these habits was hard. It was disgusting. I had to overcome bitter taste, smelling bad, choking, coughing and watery eyes. But, I did it! And sadly, my whole self adjusted to being a black coffee drinking smoker. So, if one can be so determined to acquire and become adjusted to bad habits, then one can suck up a bit of discomfort to acquire and become adjusted to some good ones! (Just so you know, I no longer smoke and I now drink only really good coffee with soy milk…)
I believe resolutions can and do work…BUT…(There’s always a ‘but,’ isn’t there?) they have to be for the right reasons and done in the right way, for YOU! If you are embarking on an effort to change, improve or move forward in some area of your life, here are some reasons why resolutions can and will work for you.
1) Understand your why.
Why do you think you need to do/change what you’ve chosen as your resolution? Are you trying to please, impress someone? Are you doing it because your mother said you should? Do you believe it will bring you lasting joy and happiness? A major reason resolutions fail is because we think they are expected of us. We are not doing them because they are right for us. When you understand why you have chosen what you have chosen, you are better able to decide if the resolution is the right one for you. If it’s not right for you or even if it’s not the right time yet, then DON’T do it!
2) Connect to the future you.
Can you reasonably picture what you will look like, feel like, and act like when you achieve your goal? It is very important to at least be able to have an idea what you are going for. If you can’t picture it or feel it; do some research. What do the people that have what you want look like, feel like, and act like? Create a vision board, or write a story that puts you in that space.
3) Get support.
Be sure there are people around you who will encourage you, who believe that you can do what you are setting out to do. Nothing like sabotaging friends or family members to take the wind out of your sails and make achieving your goal harder, if not impossible. Know that you are going to have bad days. Be gentle with yourself and call in encouragement. Avoid calling those that you know will tell you they knew you’d fail and to just quit.
4) Have Fun.
It is not just about the destination. Build fun into the journey in any way you can. The realization of your goals may be a longer way off. Be patient. It takes a while to turn things around, especially life long habits.
Some of the changes you are going to make will not be easy. Turning things around can be hard work some times. You will have to be uncomfortable during the process. I think of it like this. I ‘resolved’ at some point to drink my coffee black and to smoke. Learning these habits was hard. It was disgusting. I had to overcome bitter taste, smelling bad, choking, coughing and watery eyes. But, I did it! And sadly, my whole self adjusted to being a black coffee drinking smoker. So, if one can be so determined to acquire and become adjusted to bad habits, then one can suck up a bit of discomfort to acquire and become adjusted to some good ones! (Just so you know, I no longer smoke and I now drink only really good coffee with soy milk…)
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