WHAT NOW? LIFE COACHING.
  • What Now? Life Coaching
  • Services/Contact Me
  • Mushroom to Sunflower Blog
  • What Does A Life Coach Do?
  • Finding Your What Now; Creating the Next Years of Your Life
  • Depression; Your Personal Message Workbook
  • Vision Board
  • Female Emotional Neglect Recovery
  • Buy the Program
  • Are You Emotionally Neglected?

Are You Feeling the Love?

11/10/2011

0 Comments

 
Would you force your own child, (or friend, or spouse) to spend time with people who consistently make them feel bad about themselves?  I’m assuming your answer is ‘no.’ And yet, how often (today) have you forced yourself to do that very thing?

I am a recovering approval addict.  I, like most of  you, was raised to 'be nice' and not say what  I really thought, because 'nice' girls don't say 'those' things.  I have since learned that being 'nice' and being happy and fulfilled do not necessarily co-exist.

Babies are born socially dependent and know instinctively that their survival depends on the goodwill of the grown-ups around them.  Because of this, we’re all literally designed to please others.  Learning the social mores of your tribe, is what kept your cave-person self alive and not thrown to the wolves.  In today’s society, surviving in your tribe may translate into the ‘proper’ handbag/shoe combo or where you are seen and with whom after work hours.  While you travel in these ‘packs’ it may feel like your very life depends on it, but I’m here to ask you to think about that.

Back to my question/  Are you forcing yourself to hang with people who aren’t making you feel like you are awesome and capable and a joy to have around?  If you are, maybe it’s time to take some action.

What Will Really Happen?
“I have to go to Aunt Bertha’s Thanksgiving Dinner.”  Why?  Will the family really disown you?  And if they stop talking to you will that be a ‘bad’ thing?  I encourage you to write out the reasons you ‘have to’ hang out with the people you do. 
“But, wait!” you say, “I ‘have to ‘go to work.  Those are the people who don’t get me.”   You don’t actually have to rock any boats with some new found “F You”  attitude or action but,  it is good for your soul to ask yourself; “What Will Really Happen?” in order to get a look at what you are telling yourself.

Is It True?
Once you see what you are worried ‘may’ happen, you can then ask yourself is what I believe true?  Do I know absolutely that x y & z will happen if I don’t do what’s  expected of me?  Again, you don’t actually have to do anything, just think about it?

What Do You Want, Really, Really Want?
Brainstorm, powerpoint, imagine and dream of the life you think would make you happy.  Who are the people in it?   How do they make you feel?  How do you make them feel?  What are you doing?  The more time you spend ‘feeling’ what you really want, the more likely you will start behaving in ways that may actually lead you there. 

Through my own trial and error and by challenging my thinking, I am discovering that my worst consequence fears are just imaginary.  I am learning to speak up for myself, to say no and to honour my true nature and guess what?  The world has not ended and people actually seem to like me more and...I am liking the people around me more.  The more you observe yourself and those around you and the way you are feeling, the more likely you are to attract more of who and what you want and less of what (or whom) you don’t.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    On my journey back to wholeness I have explored many modalities and can honestly say the What Now Life Coaching session was one of the most illuminating (yet non-invasive) interactions I've had.

    Jennifer used an interesting variety of tools to further guide me towards my "North Star" (soul's calling) and I walked away feeling grounded, comforted, validated and inspired.
    ​
    -Angela, Shaman.

    RSS Feed

    Picture
    Picture
    Are You Emotionally Suppressed?
    Picture
    Where's Your Wild Child? Awakening a Sleeping Dream Part Two
    Picture
    Understanding Human Emotions Part One
    Picture
    Free Worksheet!
    Picture






    ​Archives

    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    November 2012
    September 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    December 2010

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from quinn.anya, Lemsipmatt, Feist, Michael - FunnyFence - catchthefuture, Jannie-Jan, alex.shultz, DJ-Dwayne [Away till 31st November], volantwish, Viajar24h.com, JUSU, nafmo, Cloned Milkmen, litratcher, frankieleon, amishsteve, shootthedoll, William Arthur Fine Stationery, kodomut, Carodean Road Designs, torbakhopper, jessicahtam, limevelyn, Kurdishstruggle, peterworsley, tara marie, Daniel Hathaway, Calgary Reviews, KLGreenNYC, Cecily Michelle, RaubDaub, cogdogblog, Jade♥, Maria Grazia Montagnari, CinCool, x1klima, bambe1964, David Sifry, @lattefarsan, miamism, Daniel E Lee, Jellaluna, emjahn, dracychan, Denis Dervisevic, Street matt, Paxson Woelber, Glyn Lowe Photoworks., _Fidelio_, Ann Frye, Prayitno / Thank you for (10 millions +) views, markyharky, Avenue G, glasseyes view, Infomastern, craigCloutier, frank-hl, andertoons, eioua, torbakhopper, Silly Eagle Books, dronepicr, mikie t, Sustainable sanitation, Eduardo Mueses, Chrysaora, D.o.M.e.N.i.C.o (memmo77), elidr, blondinrikard, Ben+Sam, striatic, __MaRiNa__, edenpictures, fruity monkey, Thomas Rousing, R'lyeh Imaging, FaceMePLS, casey.marshall, quinn.anya, Jim Trottier, Holger Zscheyge, Athena I. Saldaña