WHAT NOW? LIFE COACHING.
  • What Now? Life Coaching
  • Services/Contact Me
  • Mushroom to Sunflower Blog
  • What Does A Life Coach Do?
  • Finding Your What Now; Creating the Next Years of Your Life
  • Depression; Your Personal Message Workbook
  • Vision Board
  • Sister Circle
  • Female Emotional Neglect Recovery
  • Buy the Program
  • Are You Emotionally Neglected?

My Birthday Conundrum

4/6/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
My birthday is this week! Yay! Sort of…

I struggle with the celebration of my birthday.  Is it just me?

There’s no real instructions for how this is to be done.  Like Mother’s Day, if you leave it up
to someone else, well, you probably won’t get it the way you want and then you
get to clean up the mess.  

I leave my birthday celebration plans up to my husband, but usually with the vagueness of ‘oh, I don’t know,’ but also with the strict directive “Don’t invite people over!” Well, my dear
husband had trouble grasping the concept and has consistently invited friends, neighbours, family to our home on most if not ALL of my birthdays.  This would leave me feeling 1) ungrateful – how can I not appreciate that my husband went to all this trouble to honour/celebrate my birthday? 2)
angry/bitter/resentful – why won’t he hear what I say? I really don’t want to clean up after this party, again.

My usual response to the situation was to smile pretty and try, really, really hard to enjoy the experience. (Awesome way to stoke the resentment fire, btw.)  (I apologize to all my
friends for telling this story repeatedly.)

Last year I finally worked it out.  When I found out that people were invited, yet again, after I had repeatedly and specifically said “I Don’t Want People Over!” I actually voiced my displeasure and stated the reason why. I did not want people in my house on my birthday.  He argued a bit.  I’m doing this for you. You should be happy, like it, appreciate my effort, etc.. I explained, yes, I appreciate your effort and your thoughtfulness but a party in my house automatically casts me in the role of hostess. I do enjoy being hostess, don’t get me wrong, I love my husband, family, neighbours and friends, BUT not in my house on my birthday.  I specifically said, “if you want to have a party to celebrate my birthday, have it SOMEWHERE ELSE!”  He got it.  It was too late, too short of notice, the people invited made plans to come. I did not want to make the fuss of uninviting them, so one last time, I smiled and to the best of my ability, let it go, and enjoyed myself and the lovely people. But, I had finally said something about it and was heard.

It then dawned on me that I too have done this. There were many times I thought I knew what was ‘best’ for my daughters and planned things they specifically said they didn’t want.  I made plans for friends and family without necessarily consulting them and dragged them along kicking and screaming.  I now understand that we can’t know what is ‘best’ for anyone but ourselves!  Even when our motive is love and sincerity, choosing what we think someone else SHOULD want doesn’t cut it.  
 
I have also figured out that if I/we say ‘surprise me,’ then I/we had better be prepared to be open to whatever comes my/our way and complaining rights are null and void.  
 
It is not fair to make my husband guess what would make me happy. That responsibility lies with me. I need to decide not just what I don’t want, but what I do want and then be prepared to help make it happen. Responsibility.  Imagine. At my age.  I must be growing up…? 

I promise, friends, I am done complaining about this now, for good.  

Now, If I could just pick something I want …I’m thinking, mani/pedi, massage, flowers, weekend getaway….


How do you like to celebrate your birthday?

​​coachjenniferwashington@gmail.com
Picture
​Jennifer Washington 
Certified Martha Beck Life Coach 


What Now Life Coaching 
​

www.whatnowlifecoaching.com 

Facebook 
Twitter 
​Pinterest
 INSTAGRAM

​
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    On my journey back to wholeness I have explored many modalities and can honestly say the What Now Life Coaching session was one of the most illuminating (yet non-invasive) interactions I've had.

    Jennifer used an interesting variety of tools to further guide me towards my "North Star" (soul's calling) and I walked away feeling grounded, comforted, validated and inspired.
    ​
    -Angela, Shaman.

    RSS Feed

    Picture
    Picture
    Are You Emotionally Suppressed?
    Picture
    Where's Your Wild Child? Awakening a Sleeping Dream Part Two
    Picture
    Understanding Human Emotions Part One
    Picture
    Free Worksheet!
    Picture






    ​Archives

    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    November 2012
    September 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    December 2010

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from quinn.anya, Lemsipmatt, Feist, Michael - FunnyFence - catchthefuture, Jannie-Jan, alex.shultz, DJ-Dwayne [Away till 31st November], volantwish, Viajar24h.com, JUSU, nafmo, Cloned Milkmen, litratcher, frankieleon, amishsteve, shootthedoll, William Arthur Fine Stationery, kodomut, Carodean Road Designs, torbakhopper, jessicahtam, limevelyn, Kurdishstruggle, peterworsley, tara marie, Daniel Hathaway, Calgary Reviews, KLGreenNYC, Cecily Michelle, RaubDaub, cogdogblog, Jade♥, Maria Grazia Montagnari, CinCool, x1klima, bambe1964, David Sifry, @lattefarsan, miamism, Daniel E Lee, Jellaluna, emjahn, dracychan, Denis Dervisevic, Street matt, Paxson Woelber, Glyn Lowe Photoworks., _Fidelio_, Ann Frye, Prayitno / Thank you for (10 millions +) views, markyharky, Avenue G, glasseyes view, Infomastern, craigCloutier, frank-hl, andertoons, eioua, torbakhopper, Silly Eagle Books, andreboeni, dronepicr, mikie t, Sustainable sanitation, Eduardo Mueses, Chrysaora, D.o.M.e.N.i.C.o (memmo77), elidr, blondinrikard, Ben+Sam, striatic, __MaRiNa__, edenpictures, fruity monkey, Thomas Rousing, R'lyeh Imaging, FaceMePLS, casey.marshall, quinn.anya, Jim Trottier, Holger Zscheyge, Athena I. Saldaña